Sunday, February 26, 2012

When you think about it, she has a very valid point

Her: "So, was it an important thing they won?"

Me: "Well, it was the League Cup."


Me: "No, they won the League Cup, as opposed to the League or the Cup."

Her: "And do they not win a Cup if they win the League."

Me: "Well it's more of a trophy, but don't even get me started on the FA Trophy."

Her: "So, let me get this straight. There's the League, the Cup, and then the League Cup?"

Me (proudly): "That's exactly right."

Her: "And how important was the one they won today?"

Me: "Well, pretty much the least important of the three."

Her: "You'd think it'd be most important, what with it being called the LEAGUE CUP."

At which point I exited the room to write this blog.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Tenner

1) I ate in McDonald's on Wednesday, fully sober, and didn't feel doggedly disgusting until about five hours afterwards. I'm not sure if this is progress, regress or ungress. I should have got a McFlurry to make it somewhat worth it.

2) Gotye. You horrible, catchy, 'get the fuck out of my head at 3.14am of a Tuesday morning' bastard.

3) I'm going to Amsterdam in April. What delights lie over there? Well, we know all about what delights lie over there. I'm going to come back with that aul' smack cocaine coming out my ears, apparently.

4) There are different kinds of cross. The middlenight, "you just woke me up for no good reason, now feck off and go back to sleep" kind of cross means fuck all in the grand scheme of things.

5) I'll probably never write anything as witty as a single episode of Frasier.

6) I'll probably never write anything again, if my current profligacy continues. I started this post, for instance, on Thursday morning.

7) I don't remember the last new person to start calling me Radge.

8) Twitter eats your life up and is probably fairly pointless if you're stuck in the world of Nokia, circa 2008.

9) I don't remember writing this...

2002. I saw him coming in, nodded in his direction, nothing back. Him and his mates, ordering cocktails and taking the piss. Ordering cocktails ("does this look like the kind of place you can get a fucking cocktail?"). Him and his mates, their scarves and pints of Heineken. Taking the piss out of everybody and everything, making big plans.

...but I did. Some time.

10) I wish I was still nicknamed The Shadow. That was a good nickname.