Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Always the danger of Twink

Things I wouldn't watch on television...

The Queen's visit: Plane lands, old woman gets out, decides it's much the same as England, walks around a bit, searches for her pills, likes the blue ones, takes out a Murray Mint, wonders why nobody came to see her, goes home.

St. Patrick's Day parade: People walk, twirl stuff, get drunk, get sick and go home.

The Late Late Show: I actually don't mind Tubridy, but when you know he's been combing the halls of RTE on a Friday afternoon for somebody to sit on his couch, it's getting a bit tedious. Plus, there's always the danger of Twink.

Sky News: Or 'The War Channel,' as herself puts it. Breaking News ceases to be Breaking News once it's broken, as opposed to 46 hours later when they're still floating that delightful yellow ticker below our noses, telling us that Bin Laden got got.

Rugby.

Budget coverage: Just a load of people sitting around and telling me how drunk I can't get and how many Twixes I'm not allowed to buy.

Election coverage: Just a load of people running over themselves to see who can be vague and non-committal with the greatest of alacrity.

Formula 1: Cars driving.

EastEnders: I swore I'd never fall into the trap of calling it a show full of miserable bastards, but it really is just a show full of miserable bastards.

Grand Designs: They rope you in, they end the show with no pay-off, leaving you wondering for days whether that yacht ever made its transition into a magnificently appointed Tuscan villa.

Anything with the word 'Extreme' in the title.

16 comments:

canine letters said...

hard to believe Prince Philip is 90 - just shows the magic of a pint of gin a day

Radge said...

The man's a monument to coattails.

canine letters said...

wonder what his sex life is like

Radge said...

Florid.

canine letters said...

must say, the Queen is looking rather fetching in her green suit...she was a good looking chick in her youth

Kitty Cat said...

"Always the danger of Twink" is possibly the most ominous sentance I've read in quite some time.

Radge said...

I hope you heard Jaws music.

Red Leeroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Red Leeroy said...

would you watch something with "gone bad" in the title ?

Annie said...

I want to agree with you about everything but Extreme Makeover was my best friend in Iceland

Radge said...

Red - I've been racking my brains trying to think of something with 'Gone Bad' in the title I'd watch. It didn't work.

Annie - Certain personalities on that show scare the shit out of me.

Holemaster said...

I'm down to Bogs a hAon, Dó, Trí 'gus ceathair.

Radge said...

Probably more than any man needs.

Kath Lockett said...

I may not be Irish but I agree with each and every one of them.

I'd add anything with 'patrol' or 'border' or 'airport' there as well.

Anonymous said...

I think there was a show a few years ago on one of the weirdo channels called "Animals gone bad". The premise had something to with getting attacked by your pet corgi or iguana or whatever.

Radge said...

Kath - There's some amount of tat on the telly.

Anonymous - QED.