Monday, March 14, 2011

Numbers, statistics and foie gras burgers

Foolishly, in my cups, I opened up the calculator on my phone. I factored money coming in against money going out and slept no kind of a sleep afterwards.

Don't do that. Please don't ever do that, it will only depress you if you're a man like me that enjoys the fine things in life. Fine things like beer and cheese, the odd cinema trip and occasional mini burger with foie gras and truffle mayonnaise.

Catching a hold of myself, I resolved to go on a budget for a few weeks and eschew the all too frequent taxi jaunts over to, and back from, hers in place of sitting with Joe Public on the 19A and some honest to goodness ambulation.

I resolved to seek out some new employ and got my first invitation to 'kindly fuck off' in the post last week.

It didn't piss me off, this rejection of an interview, because I know that I'm a few steps away from being the CEO of a major overseas investment firm. I'm more than a couple of rungs down that ladder but I'll start off by getting the suit dry-cleaned while I brush up on my bullshit bingo.

Soon enough, and I'm a patient man, but soon enough I'll be briefcased up to the balls and my gurning face will greet you from a plinth in Citywest. I'll tell how you can do it too while doling out the synergy like yet another unwieldy analogy.

Oh yes. Corporate Radge. Gizza job. Giz one, go on, help me to help you.

Until such a time as my accession to First Class, however, I can be found here, and there, feeding my newfound porridge addiction and worrying about the price of McCambridge's finest.

10 comments:

shiny said...

On the cusp, in your cups.

New porridge and new suit, there could be another blog entry in that...

Radge said...

There certainly will be if (when) my clumsy streak comes out and I spill the former all over the latter.

On the cusp, in my cups. I like that.

Kath Lockett said...

You'll be fine, dear Radge. Either become that CEO or sell sexual favours in bus shelters. Either way it'll get you out of the house and away from porridge.

Radge said...

A comment received as I ate my morning bowl of porridge. It was lovely.

Kitty Cat said...

Synergy. Someone needs to held accountable for that word's existence. Then I can send the Bear around to their house.

Radge said...

What would the Bear do?

Kitty Cat said...

I was going for vague and threatening there, but general smashy smashy. You know yourself.

neodevin@hotmail.com said...

I have an opening.....errrr...hang on a sec.


What I meant to say...

Hangar Queen said...

Fuuuuuuuck...it's been too long.

Radge said...

Been way too long, HQ!

Do elaborate...