Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Awareness Awareness Month

I do love Awareness Awareness Month.

For eleven months of the year the unaware trundle along, stepping on dog shite, tripping over cracked pavements or spilling coffee on themselves while trying to sidestep the homeless.

Not in November, though, no.

Awareness Awareness Month will, hopefully, see a rise in carefulness and result in the eradication of absent minded wandering in our lifetime.

"The goal of Awareness Awareness Month is to make people more aware of their awareness and to curb on-bus-snot-hocking, queue jumping and loud chewing in the cinema," said AAM spokesperson Donald True.

"And that's only for starters. We feel that people getting lost in their own thoughts can bring on all sorts of awkward social situations, such as that thing where you try to move out of someone's way and, in so doing, you end up stepping right-then-left-then-right at the same time as them.

"Running into someone more than once in the supermarket aisles is another symptom of AAD (Awareness Awareness Deficiency) and, if AAM is successful, the phrase 'we really must stop meeting like this!' will never have to be spoken again."

So, how do people spread awareness of Awareness Awareness Month? I asked Mr. True.

"Shave your face," came his response. "Shave it all off. The very fact that you don't have a moustache will make you stand out from the crowd and instantly make people aware of how aware of your awareness you truly are."

12 comments:

Annie said...

I'm on board

McMuck and the Mystery of the Kuúgleflarg said...

Take a bow for an outstanding piece of blogging...

But be aware of any opened cupboard doors that you might hit your head off on the way back up.

Radge said...

Annie - Clearly. I read your post. Good work!

Mook - Awareness Awareness isn't just for November.

Conan Drumm said...

Dear Radge, (where did the agony uncle posts go?)
Since I'm not allowed shave off my Awareness does that mean I'm aware for 11 months of the year, but not during Awareness Awareness Month?

Yours tonsorially,
C. Drumm

Radge said...

I'm afraid so, Conan. You're now one of a number of very bumpy and hirsute men infecting our streets.

shiny said...

I'm often blissfully unaware and do enjoy absent minded wandering, however I'm all for a month of clean shaven faces. Where do I buy my ribbon?

Holemaster said...

Can there be an Unforgetful month?

Kath Lockett said...

Geez I dunno Radge, I'm all for a Blissfully Unaware Month pretty fucking soon....

Radge said...

Shiny - I'd say you'd take a year of clean shaven faces. So I would.

Holemaster - An unforgettable month would be better.

Kath - As long as it doesn't lead to a spate of bad manners.

Goldmaster said...

This is one of the things I used to put in rings etc.

Radge said...

Gold, I hope?

Goldmaster said...

No, a gem.