Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Academia

Much as I'm tempted to linger on 666 posts for a bit, hoping the Satans align to visit their demonic bent upon Glenda Gilson's eyebrows and whoever came up with those cretinous Ivan Answer ads, I'll move on.

Back to school today.

Back at the head of the class looking down, pretending confidence and authority and experience in my teachings before the sweet release of half past eight, some sweet and sour chicken and the Rumbelows Cup.

On such things Tuesday nights are to be built for the next three months, by Christmas I'll have become so drunk on the sound of my own Socratic orations that I'll have milked myself of all that useless humility.

Yes indeed, I'll be Mr. Funky Teacherman with a scarf that's barely there and those big bad black glasses that still seem de rigueur. Apples and plaudits and bowings to my brilliance, before I find a lowly, scowly janitor to mentor because I see myself in him.

It will all fall apart, run aground on the banks of my hubris before you can shout 'CUT!' but fuck it if I don't want my own Elliott Smith soundtrack. And a Fields Medal.

7 comments:

Kath Lockett said...

Oh Radgery my Radge! (falls off desk and dislocates hip)

Radge said...

That's the spirit!

Kitty Cat said...

I completely misread the bit towards the end, "before you can shout CUT!" as "before you can shout CUNT!" I thought that was probably a bit harsh. I'm glad it wasn't the case after all.

Radge said...

I don't go in for that kind of snooker hall lingo, Kitty Cat, and by 'don't' I mean regularly (but not here).

Conan Drumm said...

I have to confess to visions of you as Mr Sumner in his gown, singing, 'Don't stand/so close to mee-ee!

"Are they under- or post-, these acolytes?

Radge said...

Experience has taught me some degree of discretion on such things, Conan. I'll not get anywhere close to specific if it's all the one.

Pardon that delicious pun.

Holemaster said...

I'm back in college too but as an evening student. I imagine that the young kids assume I must be a lecturer. But really I'm just a first year, accumulating various forms of notes and scraps of paper and no proper filing system yet devised.

So I suppose I am quite like a lecturer.