Tuesday, August 31, 2010


People I've met...

Des Cahill: Made me a cup of coffee with too much milk.

Jean Claude Van Damme: Passed him on the beach in Bray. He did a double take when he saw me, and then decided not to risk saying hello in case I wasn't the person he thought I was.

Pat Kenny: Asked me very politely to type something out for him. It was the first time I had ever typed anything. It took two hours.

Glen Hansard: I bought him a pint in my college bar, post interview. He didn't reciprocate.

Niall Quinn: Didn't look offended when I asked him to get me Steve Staunton's autograph.

Carol Vorderman: She was working as a greeter in Peg Woffington's at the time.

John Bowman: Bought me a dark chocolate Kit Kat before explaining the etymology of my surname. Reminded me of Finghín.

Lindsay Lohan: Found my wallet on the Cabra Road, searched out my number and called me. I gave her a tenner for her troubles.

Kobe Bryant: Was selling or buying tickets to Travis outside Vicar Street around 2002. I offered him face value but he figured he could do better.

Diana Ross: In Rick's Hamburgers after a feed of pints in the Dame Tavern. I, on the other hand, was stone cold sober.

Dan Quayle: Sat beside me on the train to Athlone. He asked me if he could borrow my copy of the Daily Sport. I told him to work away.

Gay Byrne: Almost knocked me down on South William Street, somewhat ironically given his road authority mandate.

Pat Ingoldsby: Wrote 'Love, Pat' on his book for me.

Orlando Bloom: I got him in a headlock outside the Virgin Megastore.

Dustin Hoffman: He knows why we don't talk anymore.

Claus Lundekvam: Stayed on my couch in 32A, circa 1998.

Zooey Deschanel: Stayed in my bed, circa last night.

Robert de Niro: Asked me for a light outside Arnotts. I told him he should quit the fags and he told me to go fuck myself. I think he thought I thought he was gay.


Twenty Major said...

Orlando Bloom: I got him in a headlock outside the Virgin Megastore.

heh, made me laugh

Radge said...

He wouldn't apologise for Lord Of The Rings.

Kath Lockett said...

With a list like that, you deserve to have Zooey in your bed!

Conan Drumm said...

Jack Nicholson. A pair of graciously nodding sunglasses stood on the steps of the Shelbourne when I said, "Howya, Jack", as I passed.

What team does Zooey support?

Radge said...

She's a lapsed Plymouth Argyle fan. She hasn't been to a match in over a year, and I gave her some slagging over it.

Anonymous said...

1. True

2. True

3. False

4. True

5. True

6. False

7. False, Radge told Bowman where the surname came from.

8. False, she kept the wallet. Slut.

9. False

10. False, she's actually dead.

11. False,

12. False

13. False
14. Fennele

15. False

16. False.

17. False, though could be true on account of her not being attractive.

18. False

Radge said...

The Collector - You're wrong on the Gay Byrne thing, but you are right about 5X getting that tosspot Conor 'Thrills' Deasy in a headlock outside Knightsbridge.

Holemaster said...

The Orlando Bloom one is great. Others are also great.

Radge said...

Obliged, sir.