Monday, July 12, 2010

One born every minute

An unsolicited email to my inbox this morning...

= = =

'Dearest one,

'Please do not be offended by the way or manner i came to you, it is about the only way i could get to you after going through your profile and I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to the nature of my proposal,which requires a reputable and trustworthy person. Someone who will be kind and sincere to me.

'l am Miss Lady*urs Gri*es, the only daughter of late Mr and Mrs G*imes Johnson. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan here, the economic capital of Ivory Coast, he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their business meeting. My mother died on the 22th may 1991 and my father took me so special because l am motherless...'

Further down, it reads...

'I am now ready to do all these since my father my bread winner is no more. l am honorable seeking your assistance in the following ways.

'(1) To serve as my guardian in your country while I will depend on your expert advise since l am a girl of 19 years.

'(2) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country in order to further my university education and to secure a residential permit for me in your country.

'Moreover , l am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum (USD3.4million) as compensation for your assistance in the transfer of this deposit to your country.'

= = =

The temptation to write back and correct the frequent spelling errors and grammatical inadequacies is great. She doesn't stand a chance of getting residency if she can't tell her adverbs from her adjectives.

17 comments:

Dot-Com said...

Ah, but Radge! Most people with residency here can't tell adverbs from adjectives either, so she'd fit right in!

Holemaster said...

I love those letters. I imagine they're real and picture the scenarios in my mind. They'd make a good series of shorts.

Radge said...

Yeah, I love them too. I found this one substantial and full of absolutely brilliant bullshit. What I've posted here is about a third of it.

McMuck and the Mystery of the Kuúgleflarg said...

What a wonderfully inspiring story.

And a nifty few bob in it for you.

Radge said...

Nifty.

Does that count?

McMuck and the Mystery of the Kuúgleflarg said...

No.

Green Of Eye, Sharp Of Claw said...

Have you checked out http://www.419eater.com/

Radge said...

Green of Eye - Is it wrong that I want to start scamming someone after reading that?

If it weren't for my sense of decency/fear of jail and sodomy/laziness...

Heidi said...

Too funny... a wedding consultant I used to work for always got emails from people in Africa or England who wanted her to plan their wedding, with a budget of several million dollars. Atrocious spelling and grammar, with the occasional all-caps email.

But it always made me wonder: are there people in this world who actually fall for that?!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Radge said...

Heidi - There must be. If you click on the link Green of Eye posted, you'll see. Takes all sorts.

Anonymous - Your comment was not in keeping with the tone of the blog, so I'm afraid I had no option but to delete it.

Kath Lockett said...

I received the very same email a few weeks back, Radge, so clearly my non-response meant that they had to search out a far more gullible blogger further afield.

I also received one telling me that I'd won the Irish lottery if I'd just give them my bank account details to pop the five hundred million quid into....

Radge said...

500 million? They could at least have made it credible. Even the scammers are getting lazy.

Green Of Eye, Sharp Of Claw said...

Not at all Radge, I'm sure you could put your skilled use of English into play and weave a deft web :)

Radge said...

Hmmmm... At the very least it might make a half decent blog.

hope said...

Ah and the Iraqi people have found the Nigerian's original letter requesting such help.

Why just last week I was asked if I could handle some international accounting if only I was willing to help my fellow brother.

But alas, I am a girl...so I can't be his brother. :)

Radge said...

They clearly need to know their audience a bit better.