I wish they'd create a non-alcoholic drink that is pleasing to the palate, as well as socially acceptable, when it comes to those times where you're in a pub yet disinclined to sup.
Milk - my favourite of the beverages - is a no-go because I can only drink it when it's icy cold. The idea of bainne at room temperature puts me off, the smell of milk warming up is disgusting.
Apple juice could be a runner but you never find it in pubs.
Orange juice is grand but they always serve that Britvic shit, which is to orange juice what Friends is to The Royle Family.
I gave up fizzy drinks a couple of years ago when I started smoking crack. Give and take.
I refuse to pay for non-alcoholic beer on principle. It tastes pissed-in and it costs almost exactly the same as a normal bottle of beer.
Tonight I spent an hour in a city centre pub with Neuroskeptic. The weekend may have ended four days ago but I won't damage my liver for some considerable time on its account. On this occasion I decided on a lovely pint of water but next time, if I'm not drinking, I'll be a bit more adventurous and take a cider.