If this saves any of you from a cinematic fisting this weekend I'll have done my job.
"Bad puns, fashion porn, domestic handwringing, contrived plot points, idiotic dialogue and offensive stereotypes. What's not to loathe?" - Richard Roeper.
"Some of these people make my skin crawl. The characters of Sex and the City 2 are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row." - Roger Ebert.
"The most depressing thing about Sex and the City 2 is that it seems to justify every nasty thing said and written about the series and first feature film." - David Edelstein, New York Magazine.
"Sex and the City 2 is two of the worst movies of the year." - The New York Post.
"I'd rather sit through Sex And The City 2 than sit through Sex And The City 2." - Radgery.com.
Some other things I'd rather do:-
Spend a Saturday night in the Mater Hospital's A+E waiting room.
Drink a nice hot cup of Christy Moore-brand sweatsoup.
Have Jedward perform live in my bathroom while I have a shite.
Follow Twink on Twitter.
Watch every Eurovision 'Song' Contest from the last twenty years back-to-back-to-back-to...
Spend six minutes alone in a room with Eamon Ryan.
Go dogging with Ronan Keating.
Be forced, Clockwork Orange-style, to watch nothing but that fucking Magnum Gold?! ad for 18 straight hours.
Give Bono a back massage while singing the hits of Neil Sedaka.
Make the sex at Anne Robinson.
Run bollock naked up the crack of Brian Cowen's arse.
Work as a showbiz reporter for the News Of The World.