Monday, April 26, 2010

I can see the calm pull chaos

"It'll be great. I'm doing a curry and there will be wine. Bring your own beer if you want to.

"Oh, and there will be at least ten single women there for you, each more combative for your affections than the one that passed before. They will sway to your utterances, pique to your crystalline wit. They are ripe for the plucking if you'll forgive me the vulgarity. You will not want to miss this."

Turns out I'm not most men.

The feigned ouch in my throat, some fabricated headcold, freeing me from the down-up-down of a Saturday night party where I sit in a corner fixated on the fact that I didn't iron my collar properly, some splashback from a korma, or that I think I'm seen as the awkward one of the group.

None of it true from the outside but all of it playing as loudly in my head as whatever's on the speakers, some ironic Roxette (the '90s music revival made flesh), or something vomiting next door. Organised fun has its place but its place doesn't have me. It didn't have me last night, anyway, another Saturday where I did the opposite, where I felt as I did when my mam would let me stay home from school.

9 comments:

Kath Lockett said...

Oh Radge.... put yourself out there. Faint heart never won fair lady!

Oh and a decent lady ain't going to notice an unironed collar or a splash of Korma. Not if you're funny, smart and cute.

Conan Drumm said...

Yup, what Kath said.

Imagining how it was is all very well but what if someone with a ticket said there was no point going to a Liverpool match because the outcome was inevitable, but here's a match report anyway...

Radge said...

Cheers folks. A vomity blog, that one, just a moment in time.

Maxi said...

Don't feel to bad, I once had a fit of dry wretching while chatting up a lady.
No amount of clean crisp shirts could save me.

Jackie said...

Love how you capture and fill a small moment such as this with such nuance.

And the comparison between staying in on a Sat. night and being allowed to stay home from school? YES. ABSOLUTELY. Funny-- but only funny because it's so painfully true.

Radge said...

Maxi - Was it the fish?

Jackie - I just caught some repetition in it, since been lanced. Too bloody pedantic for my own good. Thanks too.

Holemaster said...

There's no way she'll talk to me. Anyway I've nothing to say to her. I'll only make a fool of myself. But she is looking over at me and kind of smiling. Maybe she pities me. Yeah, she pities me and thinks I'm cute but in a retarded way. I'm harmless she'd say. Harmless. What an awful way to describe a person. Oh shit that's me I'm harmless and something else... inoffensive. And I don't feel right in this shirt. It's not really me. Knew I should have worn the other one. The everyone likes. She'd probably prefer that. Oh shit, who's that. Ah shit. Boyfriend. Then why was she smiling at me? Oh yeah, cure in retarded way.

Holemaster said...

Damn typos. My life is a typo.

Radge said...

A blog within a blog, that.