Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Koptalk

Liverpool Football Club, you horrible fuckers.

If ever a match had me yearning for the casual fandom of somebody who claims to enjoy 'sports,' last night's was it.

You know the lads.

"See the match?"

"Which match was that?"

"The Liverpool match. They were playing Wigan."

"Oh... Ehm... No. No. Was it the FA Vase, sorry, Cup?"

"No, it was the Premier League."

"Really? Wigan are in the Premier League? I thought they were in the fourth division."

"(Oh Christ)"

"Yeah, I follow the football like but only if there's a big match on, like an Ireland match or whatever..."

"Oh, so you saw the Brazil game last week?"

"Did we play Brazil? Don't know how I missed that. Who won?"

"Brazil."

"Of course. I suppose that means we're not going to the World Championships now."

I wanted to be that lad for 108 minutes, including half time, last night instead of the frustrated, bawling, pillow whacking disgrace of a figure that I cut throughout, sucking Lemsip through a straw and keening for the sweet relief of death.

Gah.

13 comments:

Conan Drumm said...

Was that Wigan Athletic vs Liverpool Knackered?

I keep half an ear on the radio but you'd never be up to these yo-yo clubs.

Radge said...

Accurate, Conan. In every way.

KopTalk Exposed said...

Radge,

Having sat through every second of last night's debacle, is it OK if I point out that the "real" KopTalk is a scam site designed to con money out of Liverpool fans? Thanks.

Radge said...

I haven't been on KopTalk since they started charging a couple of years ago. Didn't seem to provide anything you couldn't get on a free site.

KopTalk Exposed said...

Radge,

I think your last sentence sums things up perfectly. All the best.

Twenty Major said...

Any belief that Benitez can turn it around?

Maxi said...

Ignorance is bliss. Trust me.

Radge said...

Not really, Twenty, there's a lot to be said for being bullheaded but when that means sticking with the likes of Lucas, Insua and Carragher - despite clear evidence that they're not up to it - we're fucked. Mourinho might take it.

And I'll be cheering on your lads tonight.

Maxi - I'm coming around to that.

Conor said...

This shouldn't make it past the moderator (on the grounds of gleeful poor taste).

Cheer up! Chelsea can still win it!


On another note, I'm not sure Mourinho would touch Liverpool. He is all about furthering the 'Special One' legend, and hence he moves only to clubs already capable of winning trophies. Not meant as another dig, just a sad truth.

McMuck and the Mystery of the Kuúgleflarg said...

Did you cry?

I'd like to know if you cried a little.

Kath Lockett said...

I don't know a Fat Rat's Clacker about football (in any of it's guises) but your description of yourself at the end had me snorting my coffee.

Stay as you are, dear Radge!

Holemaster said...

I am that guy Radge.

Radge said...

You have other qualities, HM.