Wednesday, December 16, 2009

All that glitters...

I gurbled something to the gold dress girl, sought out my jacket and left. These things always end the same way, they do, different dress but the same sentiment and a mild sense of my own lack of comfort in compliment-giving.

That being said, I won't be too downcast because the room was full of my kind and I made no more nor less a tit of myself than my fellow single brethren.

Fucking office parties. They're meant for team bonding or some such wankology but usually end up on a cool day in March when the pang of realisation hits.

"I didn't... Oh fuck, I did too."

The same thing every year but at least there was some prime fillet beef and not the usual tat and mashed potato with the bits left in. That at least.

I can't be doing with the forced jollity, though, as there's always someone at the next table that you half know and fully want to avoid.

"So how's your year been?"

"Graysh, yeah, we had some setbacks but they've really pulled things back together so, like, yeah, you've got to be happy with that. I reckon we can turn a profit by spring so (looks around) let's fucking get locked like. And yourself?"

"Getting by. See ya."

"Later, man."

"(Sac.)"

The music. The music. Fuck off 'Galway Girl.' Fuck off 'Candle In The Wind.' Do one 'Merry Christmas Everyone,' you cretinous cock of a song.

And Aslan.

= =

When the free drink runs out you're left with shots at the bar, shots in the dark and a fuckload of meekness at the morning's delayed start time. That's all it amounts to, really.

19 comments:

adogwoof said...

woof

Terence McDanger said...

I'm not *quite* with you in the depths of your indifference, but all things told, you're right, it wasn't great was it? A distinct sense of you're not really wanted here hung over the evening, threw me right out of myself for the entire night.

But sure evenrything's going to be shit after Waterford.

Susan at Stony River said...

aI'm torn.
"Wankology", or "you cretinous cock of a song"?
Love 'em both. Also love being unemployed as it gets me out of such nonsense entirely.

Holemaster said...

Town is full of one-night-a-year merchants. I can't wait for quiet pints in January.

Jennikybooky said...

Tell me what happened in Waterford, the glorious city of my birth. For entertainment's sake I hope it involved either Ruby's, Muldoon's or (especially) Oxygen. And perhaps a fat wan in a sparkly dress. For good measure like.

Red Leeroy said...

Mine was cancelled, but then re-invented as the twelve pubs. Great. just great.

Radge said...

Terence - Couldn't agree more. It was kind of ok until I felt a weird change. I legged it at that point.

Susan - Probably not my own. Actually, the second one is new. Thanks.

Holemaster - I'll imbibe with you.

Jbook - Muldoons. Messy. Very messy.

Red - Oh look, I'm drunk again. I wish my ma didn't check the comments.

Kath Lockett said...

Yep, you've just brought back a shitload of memories I thought I'd fully repressed.

Thank christ my only office companion has four legs and a tendency to fart.

mapstew said...

Aslan?
They Still alive then?

And Muldoon's?, always fuckin' messy.

There, three fuckin' question marks!

:¬)

Radge said...

Ah yes, the Fart Machine 2009. I want one.

Mapstew. Dublin band. Still corporeal. A meat mart.

Therese Cox said...

Ahhhh, Aslan. And here I thought you'd drunk yourself into Narnia.

Radge said...

I've tried, Therese. I have tried. Still of this world though.

Ms Smack said...

OMG. I think I've found a kindred spirit when it comes to christmas parties!

I was JUST writing about this very thing.

Revolting forced scripted chat, I agree!

Radge said...

Ms Smack - Welcome. Had a look at yours, definitely some similarities there.

hope said...

After years of complaining that OUR office Christmas party was merely an exercise for us to spend our money on food to serve to co-workers in other departments as the Boss kissed arse to climb the ladder of success, we've finally won a round!

This year it's brunch, minus the other political minions. And yet, the new Boss has a fall back position: the first person to complain of being cut out of our annual party will no doubt be told, "Oh, it was the Staff's decision."

My husband has the right idea; he's self employed. ;)

Maimie said...

yeah radge - ma does read comments. You're a disgrace - another sack of coal from Santa this year.

Radge said...

Not again.

Andrew said...

Radge, what's happened to your Good World review? It's in my feed-reader but not on the page right now.

Anyway, I simply wish to state that Good World is a brilliant place for a feed. If you're Chinese. I went there with a couple of Chinese students once, and soon discovered that they keep an entirely different menu there for Chinese people, in Chinese. They call the muck they serve us "European Chinese food" and wouldn't fucking spit on it. It's largely our own fault for wanting chips with everything. And for not enjoying the delicacy that is chicken feet.

Radge said...

I took it down Andrew, they threatened legal action.

Nah, I was annoyed with myself because I felt I didn't get the necessary bile into the piece, a bile to equal the shit they served us on four plates last night. It was disgusting.