Bish bash bosh

Well, we know (or should know) the famous Hemingway six-word story. He called it the best thing he ever wrote - the literary equivalent of Eric Cantona saying a through ball for Denis Irwin to score, way back when against fuck knows who, bested all of his own match-winning exploits for the Rags.

Anyway, yeah, Hemingway's story was...

'For sale: Baby shoes, never worn.'

"It's good, very good in fact," as the superchefs over on BBC2 might say, so I'll take a stab myself.

Disclaimer: This is neither a meme nor a day-of-the-week regular feature.

Here goes...

1) 'What's that smell, Dmitri?' 'Petrol. Shit.'

2) 'A tenner for that? Fuck you.'

3) 'My word. What a lovely statue.'

4) 'Go home. Shut the door. Cunt.'

5) 'Gerrard... Torres... Lucas... deflection... wide... relegation.'

6) ''Just the women now!' 'Cluck, cluck.''

7) 'Some blogs worked. Hers was toss.'

8) 'Top, top player? You're fired, Jamie.'

9) 'Pack your bags. Unload the pistol.'

10) 'Her spilled drink said it all.'

11) 'Knee gnaw knee gnaw knee gnaw.'

12) 'Have another. Go on. One more.'

13) 'Tried the pilates. Steak was nicer.'

I always try to end on an upper.