Monday, July 20, 2009

Strike me down

He came out of Diesel on Suffolk Street with a hurried look about him, the 10 was drawing to its stop. Weighed down by bags of food and new clothing he ran awkwardly across to meet his way home.

Something caught his boots, his too old boots that have been worn to shreds with the heel separating from the rest, allowing in water on a rainy day.

A suit jacket and an incongruous grey button-up t-shirt tripping to the ground in front of the bus stopping inches from his face.

Fuck.

Groceries and garments at the wheel, hands scratched, scrambling for his goods with the concerned look of the bus driver above him.

Two Italian girls rush over, packing up his goods.

"You OK, you not hurt?"

"No, no, I'm fine, thanks so much. Thanks a million. Just a bit embarrassed."

"No need, we fall all time."

I fall all time, me and my stupid fucking loping gait.

16 comments:

Maxi Cane said...

I could have loved to have seen that. I haven't seen someone fall good and proper in ages.

Radge said...

You'd still be laughing now, I reckon. I'm just glad only strangers witnessed it.

Conan Drumm said...

But the girls, the girls!

Meadow said...

Next time, you must say to the caring Italian girls, 'No, no, I'm not great, actually. I'm quite shaken. I think I need a drink. Could you please help me into O'Neills and rub my... scratched hands?'

Radge said...

The girls!

Meadow - Top advising. Italian women are known to love vulnerable Irishmen.

laughykate said...

Falling flat on one's face. Oh the joy. I once turned up to an English professor's house to do a story on comedy, (crew in tow) and fell -for no obvious reason - spectacularly flat on my face.

It was really funny - if you weren't me.

Kath Lockett said...

Hey, it's happened to all of us. I fell *out* of a bus door and had my handbag and groceries scattered for half a km up the road.... then realised that I could only find one of my shoes and the other (a clog) was in the middle of the frickin' road.

As the bus drove off I could see dozens of passengers pissing themselves at my misfortune. Chances are, dear Radge, I would have been one of those if I'd seen your arse-over-ankles too....

Red Leeroy said...

ah very amusing stuff. I once slid down a slightly inclined gravel path, continued for a metre, then over a small wall. It was very very embarrassing.

Radge said...

Then you know my pain. You know it good, Leeroy,

adogwoof said...

Embarrassing? Why you were Just doing a Ronaldo!

Holemaster said...

I know a whole season that does that.

Elmo said...

I remember my worst falling incident. It happened on a very frosty morning. I was waiting for the bus to school and it never showed up. Thinking that I had missed it and if I waited any longer I would be late, I decided to walk home and ask my dad for a lift. Due to the extremely icy roads I ended up slipping in one of those embarrassingly slow and comical motions and falling flat on my face.....just as the school bus passed and all my friends got a nice view.




But I also remember splash......

Radge said...

Splash?

hope said...

Saw a lawyer come out of the courthouse one day, trip over a raised spot in the sidewalk and go down...hard. The people watched, in various states of amusement, as he ever so quickly picked up the contents of his briefcase. Closing it, he turned to the crowd, bowed from the waist, then walked away. The crowd burst into applause.

Next time, don't forget to bow. :)

Lottie said...

I feel your pain Radge. I'f forever falling over at the worst of times.

@Meadow- it's always too late when you think of what one should have said.

ieatmypigeon said...

I fall down so much I sometimes wonder if I only imagined learning how to walk back when I was a toddler. I drop everything I pick up, too. But no one ever sees me drop anything so no one believes me when I tell them that I think I've got motor coordination problems. The falling, though - that they've seen so that they believe.