Sunday, July 26, 2009

Not as sexy as Jeremy Paxman

75th.

Fucking 75th.

That's where I came in E4's countdown of the 100 Greatest Sex Symbols.

I'd just finished my Donegal Catch haddock and oven chips last night and took a scan through the telly channels. As I landed on the list they were at No.80 - Woody Allen, with this crusty aul bint from Marie Claire magazine espousing his wit, his humour and its ability to woo the most beautiful of women.

I always thought he was a paranoid and scrawny pair of misfitting glasses, but I dare not speak for the horny 50-year-old women of this world.

79 - Rock Hudson.

78 - David Walliams, the low-fat fat lad from Little Britain.

77 - Rachel Stevens.

76 - Wonder Woman.

I was just about to change to 'Last Of The Summer Wine' at this point, confident of making at least the top twenty, when...

75 - Radge.

I couldn't fucking believe it. "I can't fucking believe it," I said to nobody in the room.

The TV presenter Fearne Cotton said "Radge has that relaxed, Irishy way about him. If he asked me out for a drink I'd definitely hop on board the next Aer Lingus flight. Fwoarrrggghhh."

The LA Times columnist Sandy Banks said "he turned blogging from the perceived domain of the bedroom geek to something majestically sexual. Yowch."

Disgusting mess Kathy Burke said something about a king size Toblerone, while the Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher was ill impressed.

"There's no fucking way that (bleep) is sexier than Joanna Lumley."

74 - Denzel Washington.

73 - Red Leeroy.

72 - Jeremy Paxman.

71 - I switched over to Bergerac.

8 comments:

adogwoof said...

whiskey chasers are ace

Radge said...

One, yes. Beyond that, not so much.

McMuck said...

I finished 49th. They're sending me a certificate.

Red Leeroy said...

73 FUCKIN YEAHHH ALLRIGHT WOO HOO. Man I can't believe I missed it. Damn Nintendo Wii.

Radge said...

Stupid sexy Red.

Holemaster said...

I got number two in the Top 50 Holemasters.

ieatmypigeon said...

I didn't even make the list. Maybe because I'm a girl.

hope said...

Only list Woody Allen should be on is "paranoid New Yorker with an eye for step daughter." Ick!

You can have his spot. You seem more deserving. And less paranoid. :)