Sunday, June 07, 2009

Something good happened

Have I written before about the 'Radge Factor' and the 'Radge Line'? To ask is to presume that you lap up every single syllable of my golden prose like a thirsty cat to a saucer of Premier Dairies' finest, but I don't care. It's my blog and I'll play the narcissist if I want to.

Anyway, back in college there was known to be a 'Radge Line,' only it was known by my family name as opposed to my moniker here. The 'Radge Line' was the least amount of college work you could do while still doing enough to avoid summer repeats or censure by the heads of the faculty.

I was one lazy fucker but somehow I always managed to wing it to within an inch of a cat's fingernail. Yes, feline metaphors abound in this piece.

My classmates knew that falling below the 'Radge Line' would mean an awkward conversation with Niall - the big boss man - at best, expulsion at worst.

And why did the 'Radge Line' exist? It existed because of the 'Radge Factor'.

The 'Radge Factor' decreed that I would always, always land my arse into a truckload of feathers, or cat hairs, no matter how dangerous the fall. I would have to seek nothing out, stuff just happened to me. Good stuff.

I was one lucky and lazy fucker, at least until college ended and I had to become a proper person like other people.

Today the 'Radge Factor' kicked in again.

Something good happened. And I'm leaving it at that because I know you'll all be back, you shameless bunch of Radgophiles, even if I refuse to engage in closure.

Meow.

13 comments:

Holemaster said...

Perhaps its a new seven year cycle.

Meadow said...

You got a cat? Hurrah!

laughykate said...

Who shot J.R?

Radge said...

Holemaster - I hope so. I could use one.

Meadow - I got several. Going to throw them at old people.

Kate - Tom.

Elmo said...

You said you never fell below the Radge Line yeah? I just checked my computer - do you remember Layout and Design and Contemporary Society by any chance?

Radge said...

Elmo - Stop accessing my personal files for pleasure/the purpose of shaming me publicly.

Elmo said...

Yeah, I was surprised to see you passed shorthand.

Red Leeroy said...

Radge, lately you have been doing a lot of setting the scene but then legging it out the door just before the pay-off. I like your style.

Andrew said...

You are marginally less of a prick tease than that Isla Fisher one has been lately.
This is a little like that time my brother's choice of car music was Ace of Spades when i was stuck behind a smelly fuck-off lorry on the N5 and moving at about 30 kph.

Radge said...

Red - Yes, I have seen a theme develop.

Andrew - I wonder if you're still talking to your brother.

NaRocRoc said...

So you're a Joe Higgins fan then Radge?

Maxi Cane said...

I saw the words "Radge Line" and thought you'd launched a masturbatory phone service.

You have not and I cry inside.

hope said...

You almost lost me by mentioning cats more than once...not fond of the little beasts. And then curiosity raised it's head and I kept reading...wondering if curiosity really does kill the cat?. ;)