Saturday, June 20, 2009

The biographer

The 3-11 shifts in our place are a right royal bitch, and a week of them leaves no less a mortal than me in a dirty little headspace of cossetting myself and gently rocking on the floor in my flat, yearning to be a normal person like other people.

It's a once-a-month occurrence on the work roster and next week it falls on me. I'm in Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

You go in armed with the dregs of the sandwich stall from McCabes at 2.58pm, sit down and eat said dregs, then die a little inside for 15 or 20 minutes. Then a cup of tea. Then the starting of the work.

You check through all the articles written throughout the day for typos and factual inaccuracies. There are rarely factual inaccuracies but there are always typos.

An unclosed bracket is my greatest bugbear.

Once that editing process is finished, you move on to whatever sport has been left unattended by the early-shifter. I like when that's football or golf. I don't like when that's rugby or GAA. I don't mind too much when it's horse racing.

Then, as evening comes and the colleagues are headed to the pub or the cinema or the couch or to The Gate Theatre, you might wander out yourself to get a tease of the evening. Seeing people in their going home state leads you to stop a moment at the gates of Trinity, gather yourself, proceed to the place where the food is got, then it's back to the office.

It's 7pm now. Still so bright but the lights are on in the office, the air conditioning off. Then, if you're lucky, there will be some live match coverage to see you through to 9.45 or 10pm, and then just an hour to mop up and take care of any breaking news that's happened while the match has been on.

Next week, that will be me, only it probably won't be me. More fucking waiting, and this time the signs are ominous because yesterday the Premier League terminated their contract with Setanta Sports.

I have, of course, been stuck to the job sites but there doesn't seem to be much, if anything. Yesterday I found that a North Dublin home is looking for a funeral manager. I was over-qualified except for the fact that I don't hold a full, clean driving licence. I can't drive at all. So that's out. It'd probably be nothing like Six Feet Under anyway.

I'd like, ideally, to be a biographer of someone tall.

20 comments:

Twenty Major said...

Miriam O'Callaghan is tall. You could call the book 'The Wizard's Sleeve'.

Holemaster said...

I have heard the news today. Very sorry to hear it Radge. If the Evil Inherent or Indo offered you a job you'd spent all your time fixing typos and putting in whole missing paragraphs.

Radge said...

Twenty - She was my second choice behind Peter Crouch. I was going to call it 'The Robot's Armpit'.

Holemaster - Nothing confirmed yet, but seems to me that we're 0-2 down with three minutes left in injury-time of a second replay, if they still had second replay. That will probably be the last sport-related analogy I'll ever write. Sniff.

Twenty Major said...

Looks like curtains, sadly. And people awaiting cheques. And by people I mean me.

Radge said...

Yeah, waiting for news today, hence why I'm stuck to the laptop, I'm not still in bed, in denial.

Kath Lockett said...

Sorry to hear it Radge - sucks to be you right now but you seem like a smart bloke and Dublin (and pretty well anywhere in the world) need quick-witted smart arses like you. Something better'll turn up.

In the meantime, I'm tall, for a sheila I mean...

adogwoof said...

Sarkozy?

Radge said...

Kath - Thank you! That's the best smart arse compliment I've had today.

AG - Stop reading in opposites.

Niamh B said...

Marion Finucane seemed remotely sorry for ye, if that's any comfort? Probably not.
Sorry to hear it anyway, i guess it's always a bit of a shock, even if you're half expecting it.
Hope it leads to something better for you, the Irish Dairy Board are looking for a new chief executive...

Radge said...

Thanks Niamh. Last I heard they're trying to save the Irish business. One of these days I'll blog about something else.

Niamh B said...

Fingers and toes crossed for you so, but maybe throw in your cv to the dairy board, just in case...

Susan at Stony River said...

Good luck; I shall unpack the voodoo dolls and do my best work for you.

Meanwhile, for three years my husband and I have been praying for his employer's factory to close and give him a redundancy; for three years every other automotive factory in this country has closed, one by one. For three years, client after client of this factory has closed up or scaled back. For three years, this bloody factory has announced one cost-cutting strategy after another, and every Sunday newspaper brings fresh news of doom; with every hit we say to each other 'well that's the beginning of the end, surely'. But month after month, year after year, THEY JUST WON'T CLOSE. What you seem to be hoping for, is our version of hell.

I hope you have better luck than ourselves! And good luck finding the tall folk in need of biography.

hope said...

I too am currently caught in the "will they or won't they?" shut us down theme. If it makes you feel any better I work in local government, therefore the decision will have nothing to do with common sense. And we've already had 4 days off without pay in the past 4 months to "fix" things.

Hang in there, pal. Kath's right...the world needs those that can keep us laughing and still understand proper grammar. ;)

Radge said...

Niamh - Is this because of my predilection for cheese?

Susan and Hope - All will be well.

Holemaster said...

I spotted a typo in my post about typos.

Radge said...

Holemaster - Missed that one. I love pedantry posts, will you send me the link?

Niamh B said...

No, twas just because the (accidentally purchased) farmer's journal was open in front of me yesterday... Randomness can sometimes be the way to go.
Though your love of cheese would help - definitely put that in the cover letter.

Holemaster said...

I made a mistake in my comment about finding a typo in my post about typos. It was in fact a typo in a comment about typos (see above).

NaRocRoc said...

Hopefully things comes up roses old boy.

Radge said...

Cheers NaRocRoc, they will.