Tuesday, May 26, 2009

No, Ray, not today

Last week I made reference to the fact that my garden put me in mind of 'Apocalypse Now,' what with its overgrowing sticky-back plants and abundance of weeds and dead cows on the lawn.

If not quite ready for the next edition of House and Horse, or Hound and Home, or Horses for... anyway, yeah, it's been resolved. Thank fuck. There's a lovely greeting of freshly shorn grass outside the door to my flat. Neighbours have been sipping Pimms in its gaze since Fred the landlord got the lawnmower out, so neat and trim is its visage. This pleases me.

A lovely man is Fred. I've been here for two and a bit years now and only met him a couple of times, but he's come good for me. Lowered the rent, sorted out Toiletgate or whatever I referred to it as at the time, kicked out the Polish masseur who never... seemed... quite... right to me.

He tells me now that mine is the only flat in the house that hasn't been refurbished and that he'll be happy to do it, we'll work out the details anon.

Of more immediate concern to me will be the disappearance of my couch - the loan deal runs out next Saturday week - but Fred's footing the bill for a replacement to the tune of 200 notes. If anyone has a decent and easily mobilised sofa that they're not needing anymore, drop me a mail.

Anyway, a lovely man is Fred.

= = = =

Other random thoughts, each unrelated:

I will never understand cricket. It occurs to me that it's beyond the ken of any ordinary Irishman, sports 'journalists' included.

Tonight, one hour before I left the office, the pall lifted because worrying has never solved a problem.

The new newscastress on Sky Sports News has a beautifully symmetrical face.

First of a week of 3pm-11pm shifts today. It coincides nicely with my penury. I'm running low on money, so couldn't afford to have a life anyway.

'Waltz With Bashir' is... is... no, I'm still not ready.

Hang on, I think I've got it. There are six balls to an over and eight to an inning wicket.


Kath Lockett said...

Trust me, cricket makes about as much sense as Katie Price and Maggie Thatcher featuring in a public service announcement.

I grew up with a cricket playing father and brothers and we even had our own cricket pitch in our backgarden. Properly laid with side nets, stumps and everything. *sigh*

Red Leeroy said...

I love cricket, I mean what is better than a full day standing around drinking while wearing stupid costumes and shouting 'howzat' every so often?

Erf said...

At one point in my life I thought I'd twigged what cricket was all about and believed it to be a fantasticaly tactical game.
My senses were returned to me however and I've forgotten all I once knew about the game.

Radge said...

Grumble. Can't believe nobody mentioned what a lovely fella Fred is.

Maxi Cane said...

Cricket? Wicket? Frick it.

NaRocRoc said...

Don't forget the bread Fred.

hope said...

One of the kindest souls I ever met was an older gentleman named Fred. Made me a birdhouse for our bluebirds. He's gone now and I miss him. Cherish your Fred. ;)

Cricket...just don't get it. Around here cricket is either that critter in the backyard which keeps you awake all night with his rendition of yelling "Stella!" while in search of love. Or it's the bait on the end of a hook for fishing. Might result from all that nightly screaming on his part.

Good luck with the couch.

swiss said...

you're approaching it wrong (tho kath gets excluded in this for obvious reasons).

get a bunch of indian mates. organise watching some cricket match or other, preferably with some tension about it, tho not anything to do with pakistan (ever). it'll take a bit of time what with families and what not to take into account. but it's worth it. there will be food, if you're lucky, cooked by some grannies.

sit back, have a beer, chill out. it's expected you'll be ignorant of the finer points so that's okay, yhere'll always be one, but more likely ten, people to keep you right, up to and including enacting just why whoever it is, is so special.

definitely one of my top two ways to watch sport.

Therese Cox said...

Have a lager beer.

Radge said...

I think I'll have a lager beer.

McMuck said...

Fred robs my furniture. I want my couch back Radge.

Holemaster said...

The world needs more Freds, good on him.

I have a great landlord too. I never see him but things magically get fixed if I ask.