Thursday, May 14, 2009

Buns

Angry Pensioners: The Scourge Of Irish Society.

They're going to tea us to death, I swear it. Last night in a Parish Hall in Athlone I fell afoul of a rather angsty septuagenarian, vexed as he was that I was standing a little too close to the tea and cake stand.

He started off quite politely, lightly ushering myself and the boys towards the makeshift bar, but the end of his sentence belied a rage that comes from being close to the cloth.

"Sorry lads, I couldn't just get ye to... MOVE LADS! G'WAN! MOVE!"

"My apologies. I never know where to stand at a funeral."

We left shortly afterwards.

17 comments:

Red Leeroy said...

sandwiches and tea are the first step in the tackling of grief.......I hear.

Radge said...

Red - Not forgetting the illicit tinctures of brandy.

Kath Lockett said...

Ah bless :). Tea is the standard funeral drink the world over, isn't it?

Radge said...

Seemingly so, Kath, just don't get too close.

Susan said...

Sorry to hear you were at a funeral; getting chased off a tea cart couldn't make things better.

I can't wait to get old--hope I make it.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

It's all ahead of us, Radge. I for one intend to be as cranky as a rabid badger.

Radge said...

Susan - Damn tea Nazis. Hope you don't become one of them.

Sarah - 'A rabid badger'. So many images in my head right now.

NaRocRoc said...

Radge I must say when I saw the title of this here post I expected something completely different.

Radge said...

NaRocRoc - My thinking exactly. It was initially called 'More tea, Vicar?' but I wanted to piss off the likes of yourself and Mr. Cane.

Terence McDanger said...

Yes, the word association that sprung to mind immediately was 'baps.'

Neither baps nor buns hath we found, though, but instead, a slightly crabbit pensioner at a rickety table with a habit of raising his voice into block capitals approaching the ends of sentences. Big sigh.

I'm calling my next post 'buoyant tits' and it'll be about space shuttles. Have that.

Radge said...

Terence - Have this! (Sticks fingers up bollix)

Elmo said...

Radge, I'm quite worried. There shouldn't be a hole anywhere near your bollocks (apart from the arse).

Maxi Cane said...

Yup, I;m going to get old and shout at inanimate objects, traffic and people as I just stand on my doorstep to un-nerve the world.

They're gas, I've had old people be rude to me in work over the years and I have no problem telling them to fuck off, just like anyone else. They really take offence to it. Bless.

Radge said...

Elmo - You're right to be afraid.

Maxi Cane - I'm going to go around to your house and throw some old people at some young people.

swiss said...

i shouted at the cat today for being a fucking knob. in a gentleish way seeing as he'd got his head stuck in a cold frame but it's still shouting at a cat. along with all the other things i like to shout at.

i am curious tho. a parish hall in athlone? at the cake stand? surely a story there

Radge said...

Swiss - Just an Irish funeral. There tends to be tea and cake everywhere.

Everywhere.

McMuck said...

You are far too gentle. I would have shoved my buns in that pensioner's face.