Thursday, April 09, 2009

Get confident, stupid!

I told myself before that I wouldn't write a post about the search terms people use to get here, but I like to tell myself little untruths from time to time and I'm wondering who the fuck googled 'Andrea Corr ear infection' and happened upon my stylings?

Which sad soul was so engulfed by his or her mid-life crises that they looked for 'fifty good things about being fifty'?

I must apologise to this person, I'm twenty years shy of it and, if memory serves me correctly (I'm too lazy to look back at my old posts) it was mostly just about cheese and pints.

Somebody e-searched 'peh peh peh.' That one was probably 5X, we decided one Stephen's Green afternoon to replace the generic 'la la la' of too many Britpop staples with 'peh peh peh'. Tunelessness for tunelessnesses sake.

Many, many times people click on Radgery thinking it to be a paean to Johnson, Mooney and O'Brien advertisements. Alas, no.

'She never calls first.' Holy fuck. That sounds curiously, to me, like mid-noughties Radge, before the facelift and the counselling sessions.

'Calling doctor by first name.' This is another regular on my stat counter. Obviously I hit on something there. A tip - it's ok, folks, call her or him what you like. You're paying fifty euro for the privilege.

'Skinny latté pilates.'

'Morning ice breakers.' Do the elephant. That's always a conversation starter.

We have an illiterate seeking 'www.tom and,' and we have a few searches for 'Barry Egan Sunday Independent' (probably himself).

Somewhat queerly, someone's seeking out pictures of 'Beyonce fucking Lucas Leiva' and another blindfolded themselves, randomly hit the keys and magicked 'Beyonce fucking Beyonce' and neither of these two searches involved the necessary accent on the second 'é' in the girating gobshite's name.

Someone, soon to be everyone, went for 'no work today' and then there was my favourite of the whole bunch.

'Who is the original singer of nothing going to change my love for you.'

They forgot the question mark at the end.


Maxi Cane said...

There's one term which regularly shows up on my stats:

"How to kidnap a small/young girl"

I mean they really should be more specific, don't you think?

Kath Lockett said...

Ah bless those illiterate googlers for without them we'd hardly have any visitors to our sites. Makes you wonder just how many lurkers you get, doesn't it?

I always get 'Chloe Sauvignon' over and over when I think they mean Chloe Sevigny and of course the rudey words that are always misspelled (because they're probably typing with only one hand).

My personal favourite search? 'Chcolate Shrinks Clothing.'

Radge said...

Maxi - Yes. They really should be more age specific.

Sick fucks.

Kath - It's very amusing. I should have blogged about it sooner and doubtless will again. In 2012. Stay tuned.

Meadow said...

Hee hee... Love it.

I enjoy the equivalent searches that lead people to mine, ultimately to disappointment. I get a lot of 'red knickers.'

My favourite recent one was also a full sentence, minus the question mark.

'Is it actually possible to have sex with a dog'

Assuming it was a human. After a night in Coppers.

PRyin said...

In spite of the rule breaking, that made for a most amusing post. (Coincidentally on a similar subject to mine today).

I still get a daily hit for "jade goody eyebrows/eyelashes". - The conspiracy remains to be revealed.

(Is Paddy Power taking bets on the fake death being revealed by 2015 by any chance? I could go for that.)

Red Leeroy said...

my hits are mostly to do with lionel ritchie, it's my own fault really.

Was it Glenn Madeiros ?

Kitty Cat said...

Deadly, I love reading the search terms people used. We get a few looking for "wet girls" and one searched for "how many graveyards in disneyland". Random.

Radge said...

Meadow - After Coppers? Surely it should have read 'pig'.

PRyin - I'm forbidden from mentioning Jade Goody. Suffice it to say, she was a beacon of hope and an example to us all.

Red - You are correct, sah!

Kitty Cat - Very random. How many?

BananaBoots said...

Glenn Madeiros!
Christ on a bike.

"irrational squirrel"
allowed me a laugh

Susan said...

Great post and laughs!

I've stopped looking at my searches. It was making me too afraid to leave my house and go out in public anymore... you know these loonies are all out there somewhere...
Oh God.

Conan Drumm said...

No "desperately seeking Radge" then?

Radge said...

BananaBoots - I didn't know there was such a thing as a rational squirrel.

Susan - I know that fear. And thanks.

Conan - Alack no.

adogwoof said...

no comment

hope said...

You made me check...which like Susan, I haven't done in a while for sanity reasons.

Number one? Little Green Men. Although I did get a giggle out of Simon Cowell-Little Green Men. I figured he wasn't from this planet.

Gypseysdog said...

I must say, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about here. None.

John Braine said...

Most regular search term to my site is 'fly porn', wtf?

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