Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Water Cooler

"Now this isn't coming from me but I think her days are numbered..."

"Go on..."

"Well her attitude is bad and she never filed the thing that Gordon..."

"You SERIOUS? The thing that Gordon..."

"YEAH! SERIOUSLY! I mean, I did it straight away. Any eejit would but she didn't and he... is... not... happy."

"Well he wouldn't be."

"GAWD no. I mean she doesn't seem to realise the sign of the times. I mean, did you see George Lee's show last week?"

"No I was watching Desperate Housewives. I missed it."

"Well, the gist of it was... Well... The gist... Well from the five minutes I watched we're all focked and she comes swanning in at 11 o'clock!"

"Was she not at the doctor's?"

"That's hardly the point. I mean if Gordon says do something you do it even if your orse is hanging off."

"True... True..."

"I mean, don't get me wrong, she's a LOVELY girl but..."

I expire.

20 comments:

adogwoof said...

to me, you're a water colour, not a water cooler

Radge said...

AG - You say these things, then you treat me like a dpormat.

Radge said...

Doormat, even. Coffee hasn't kicked in.

adogwoof said...

neither doormat nor dormer, rather dormir..

too much coffee

Red Leeroy said...

somewhere Gordon sat in his office and shivered......

Sarah Gostrangely said...

I would like totally have done it. Gordon. Like, you know.

PRyin said...

The phrase "The thing that Gordon..." struck a smile on me.

I was the water cooler.

Sweary said...

Even if your horse is falling off? Who owns horses in this day and age. You're a snob, Rad...

Oh, hold on. Orse. I get it.

Radge said...

Red - I think he's shagging her. Only way she'd get away with it.

Sarah - You LICK-orse!

PRyin - Any other secret?

Sweary - Sweary gets it.

Susan said...

I'd say someone doesn't want a job (in which case she ends up happy when it's gone) or is doing Gordon (happily or not).

Seriously, never listen to women at work. It can only end in tears, and often does.

Conan Drumm said...

If there was water in the water cooler then things aren't too bad, yet.

Radge said...

Susan - Much of this is whimsy. OK, all.

Conan - The water cooler is always half full in your eyes.

B said...

...i dont think i've ever seen an empty water cooler, has anyone?

Radge said...

B - Only in empty office buildings.

Recession.

NaRocRoc said...

"I expire."

You know you can get a cream for that.

Radge said...

NaRocRoc - It's a shot I need.

Niamh B said...

There's an empty water cooler to the right of the main entrance into the museum of modern art, just beside the stair case... it's been there for weeks

Radge said...

Niamh - Perhaps part of an installation?

Holemaster said...

Our place is like a fucking holiday camp. It's probably the best place to work in town, no-one gets into trouble, no-one gets fired and we drink at our desks on Friday afternoons.

hope said...

Hey Holemaster, could you send that plan to my boss? :) And I don't even drink.

Our new superior Supervisor has decided the only way to belittle us is to "write up" our infractions and add them to our personnel file. Ohh...scary.

I swear I'm afraid I'm going to raise my hand in a meeting and ask,"Will this be going on our permanent record? And will the Principal be getting out the paddle?"

Radge, fiction or no, I'd rather work with men any day of the week!