Friday, March 20, 2009

Apparently a couple of picnics short of a seaside.

The Stags was full so we went to The Bankers. The Bankers is never full, just full of betting slips and the post-bingo brigade. They settled in some time ago, 1975 I reckon, liked the ale and never left.

Now they just spend their time talking value and cussing at Four Dame Lane across the path, the Anfield to its Prenton Park.

So we went to The Bankers and we sat on the only couch I've ever sat on in The Bankers. I think they hold it over for me, leave it barren for years until such a time that The Stags is heaving and I don't feel like fighting for my pint.

I tell her that this same arse groove has hosted me twice before memorably, and unctious more times drunkenly.

The first was with 5X not too long before he moved to Paris and we set the world to rights over crisps, porter and disgrace.

The second was with Mad Mandy on the only occasion that I knew her. She was the kind of girl I felt sexy in front of, and I'm not the kind of man who ever feels sexy in front of girls called Mandy.

And so it proved as the body language led to body language and the drink led to a brand new toothbrush, a proffered key and alarm bells in my head. Oh mercy she was a looker but there. was. something. not. quite. right.

Then the reveal.

A week later I was walking up the quays listening to her telling me she loved me down the phone, she fuckin' loved me down that phone and I thought it was nice to feel the drunken threat of her ardour, before hanging up and seeking a barring order.

13 comments:

Meadow said...

Yep. While I empathise and sympathise, through similar experiences I’ve learned that with certain people, one just shouldn’t opentheflies.

Elmo said...

Open your fly???? What?

Radge said...

Meadow - Agreed.

Elmo - Remember that time we went to the zoo and you asked me why that monkey was assaulting that other monkey?

Red Leeroy said...

she lives still !!! waiting in an alleyway to swallow your soul.

Radge said...

Red - sounds like a fun night, that.

Red Leeroy said...

well all depending on whether your soul needs saving or swallowing?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZwpTUZaiFw

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Well, she *was* called Mad Mandy.

I sat on that couch 9 years ago and gave up dreams of ever having a mortgage. That couch is seminal.

NaRocRoc said...

I quite like Bankers. Consistency in a world gone mad.

Radge said...

Red - That was... was... was... educational. Thank you.

NaRocRoc - Agreed. I should go there more often because of the...

Sarah - ...seminality. Excellent verbage.

Conan Drumm said...

Was the barring of the literal or metaphorical variety?

sinfulorigamipaper said...

I spent a New Year's Eve in The Bankers once. It was suspiciously the only place in town with plenty of space at the bar.

Darragh said...

I'm confused. Was this a good thing or no, your most recent visit to Bankers?

I just go for the comedy, meself.

Radge said...

Darragh - My most recent visit was good. Went with a friend and we sat somewhere that held a few memories...