In an attempt to get away from pop culture references and bread advertisements, I'm going to embrace some randomness before the pre-'late shift' shower and shave. Sarah got the ball rolling on this, but I'm refusing to call it a m**e.
1) I like to combine breakfast cereals. This probably goes back to my childhood (doesn't everything?) when I'd be brought to the cinema by my da or my uncle Michael. I wouldn't care so much for the film on offer as the chance to concoct a sickening mixture of Coke, Fanta and 7-Up in a large cup, pretending nobody else had ever chanced such a thing. Now it's Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes and Weetabix. Muesli too if I want to push the boat out.
2) The first girl I kissed was from Gort in County Galway, in the Back Gate on Cathal Brugha Street. I had waited a long time and forget her name now.
3) I've never done drugs. OK, scratch that, I smoked hash a few times in my adolescence. The better experiences involved feeling like a brick. The worst, and last, time saw me puking in a bath, naked, and having to be carried home.
4) My first pint was in a pub called McGraths on O'Connell Street. It was Guinness. The pub is now called Frazers (or has there been another name change?) and is a haven for Celtic supporters and Americans.
5) I was born with Spina Bifida and it never had the good grace to go away. It's very mild. I walk and am very lucky to be able to do so.
6) A Twix is my favourite confectionary.
7) I used to have a 'Cheese Of The Week' on this blog, in the days when only Terence, 5X and the lads read it. I haven't had a good cheddar since the doctor told me not to. I'm scared to rebel.
8) I have eight grey hairs on my head. None down there.
9) I usually forget to floss, and haven't been to the dentist in many years. OK, almost seven. I should really make an appointment but I don't sense any decay.
10) The only poem I can quote verbatim is DH Lawrence's 'Tourists'.
'There is nothing to look at anymore. Everything has been seen to death.'
It's not a tough one to recall.
11) Longest relationship? Four months. I ended it.
12) I'm generally the first one to leave the pub, and will quite often disturb my gullet with an artery-clogging burger with extra crap. This is not earth shattering to any degree.
Right. Where's my loofah?