Thursday, February 19, 2009

Twelve steps to Radgery.

In an attempt to get away from pop culture references and bread advertisements, I'm going to embrace some randomness before the pre-'late shift' shower and shave. Sarah got the ball rolling on this, but I'm refusing to call it a m**e.

1) I like to combine breakfast cereals. This probably goes back to my childhood (doesn't everything?) when I'd be brought to the cinema by my da or my uncle Michael. I wouldn't care so much for the film on offer as the chance to concoct a sickening mixture of Coke, Fanta and 7-Up in a large cup, pretending nobody else had ever chanced such a thing. Now it's Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes and Weetabix. Muesli too if I want to push the boat out.

2) The first girl I kissed was from Gort in County Galway, in the Back Gate on Cathal Brugha Street. I had waited a long time and forget her name now.

3) I've never done drugs. OK, scratch that, I smoked hash a few times in my adolescence. The better experiences involved feeling like a brick. The worst, and last, time saw me puking in a bath, naked, and having to be carried home.

4) My first pint was in a pub called McGraths on O'Connell Street. It was Guinness. The pub is now called Frazers (or has there been another name change?) and is a haven for Celtic supporters and Americans.

5) I was born with Spina Bifida and it never had the good grace to go away. It's very mild. I walk and am very lucky to be able to do so.

6) A Twix is my favourite confectionary.

7) I used to have a 'Cheese Of The Week' on this blog, in the days when only Terence, 5X and the lads read it. I haven't had a good cheddar since the doctor told me not to. I'm scared to rebel.

8) I have eight grey hairs on my head. None down there.

9) I usually forget to floss, and haven't been to the dentist in many years. OK, almost seven. I should really make an appointment but I don't sense any decay.

10) The only poem I can quote verbatim is DH Lawrence's 'Tourists'.

'There is nothing to look at anymore. Everything has been seen to death.'

It's not a tough one to recall.

11) Longest relationship? Four months. I ended it.

12) I'm generally the first one to leave the pub, and will quite often disturb my gullet with an artery-clogging burger with extra crap. This is not earth shattering to any degree.

Right. Where's my loofah?


Susan said...

I LOVE this list. So much so, that 11 surprises me.

1 doesn't. When I took my friends to lunch on Friday, their son poked his cup under every dispenser on the drink machine, and I asked, "What is your child doing?" Never mind that the 'child' stands head and shoulders over me though he's not quite seventeen. "Same thing we used to," his mother reminded me, and then, yeah, I remembered doing that. And then I remembered how at the time, it did feel quite daring and outre.

Loved this.

Radge said...

Thanks Susan. Had some reservations about some of these but boredom brings out the truth in me.

Dot-Com said...

Eight grey ones? This is getting serious now!

Gypseysdog said...

I think it's been recognised that Irish people are the only ones to ever dare mixing red lemondade with ice cream to make that crimson/orange frothy scum that well all love.

Sarah Gostrangely said...


Good MEME Radge :)

Interesting image of post-narcotical bathing. If anywhere is the place to lose your dignity, it's in the bath.

Red Leeroy said...

I would have never thought you would be the first to leave the pub. Was that a preconception?

Meadow said...

5) Luck is a word so often over used. Not here.

7) Life without cheese? Surely a little on occasion is okay? (Disclaimer: I don't actually know this.) At Paddy Jack's stall in the food market on Saturday, you can just buy a sliver of what you fancy. (Disclaimer: May contain delicious cheese.)

Radge said...

5X - Remember TK? Heroin to a 7-year-old.

Sarah - OK, OK, it is what it is. Damn. That bath was never bathed in again, I hear.

Red - The thing is, I start too early. Always the first to arrive. I should have mentioned that.

Meadow - No, not here. And do terms and conditions apply? Where is said stall? Temple Bar?

Meadow said...

Yes, Meeting House Square from 930-430 or so. If you're feeling brave, ask him for a taste of the sheep's blue. The best worst cheese ever! No T&C.

Terence McDanger said...

Kissed her in the back gate?


Radge said...

Meadow - I'll head down on my lunch break.

Terence - To look at you, you wouldn't think you were a COMPLETE FUCKING CHILD! GROW UP! JESUS!

Darragh said...

I wouldn't care so much for the film on offer as the chance to concoct a sickening mixture of Coke, Fanta and 7-Up in a large cup, pretending nobody else had ever chanced such a thing.

I used to do that when I worked in UCI, never mind as a child!

Great list. Seeing people do them a lot more too. Is it an indication that people share more or care less what people think/know about them?

Radge said...

Darragh - I enjoy the occasional list. They come all too easily to me, the blogging equivalent of a frozen pizza when I should really be eating a salad.

OK that was one clunky analogy.

Anonymous said...

I know there is eight grey ones on top.

I also know there is none down below because you immac-ed them.

Radge said...

What we did in our spare time, Anonymous, should remain discreet.

hope said...

Like Susan, #11 surprised me...yes, in spite of your adventures shared thus far. I still read them and wonder what is WRONG with these women?! See what a good invisible friend I am? I never even contemplated that you might add anything wrong or disrespectful to the...whatever.

Oh cut Moo Man some slack so I don't have to take back my giggle. ;)

Radge said...

Hope - Those stories are the easy ones to tell. And Terence shall continue to receive my derision, I'll never admit my regard for the man.

Oh wait.

Holemaster said...

K8 told me what a Meme was earlier. It still makes no sense at all to me. Good list though and I'm with you on the cheddar, it's no no.

Trevor32A said...

The reason for number 11.....well, for some reason, Radge insists on introducing me to all his women - they run screaming when they realise Radge has kidnapped me and hidden me under the stairs with only a laptop and the odd fish head for company. The four month girl seemed to like the idea.....for a while.

Radge said...

Stop it Trevor or there'll be no special treat for you tonight.

the dublinista said...

Ah...the Back Gate...the scene of many a crime. They let my friend in when she showed them an ID saying she was 17.

How do you live without cheese? Do you not even sneak a sly slice onto your burger?

Radge said...

Burgers are out too. Unless drunk.

I'm finding it tough, though I did chance some swiss cheese on my sandwich yesterday. Damn near killed me.

Conan Drumm said...

Spina Bif? That can't be easy, even if yours is a moderate case.

Radge said...

Conan - Very manageable. Thirty years to get used to it!

Trevor32A said...

"Spina Bif? That can't be easy, even if yours is a moderate case."

Haha - From now on you are no longer called Radge, you are Biffo.