Monday, February 23, 2009

OK. Enough misery.

Apparently there's a recession on. No, me neither. I hadn't a clue until today, when I was accosted by a scurvied youth with a bin liner where his trousers used to be, a single skipping rope around his loins, panhandling for my shekels.

I laughed it off, naturally, keyed his plasticated pants to a happy little rip and sauntered back to my full-time job of copy, paste and thwack.

Something rankled, though, so I did some research and 18 back episodes of 'Prime Time' later I can see the bind we're in. The Celtic Tiger has done one, scurried back to that great corporate industrial estate in the sky, leaving us with a great gulping void of phrase for our predicament.

Some terms came to me.

The Lepered Lion.

Fuck it, The Lepered Leopard.

The Hibernian Heatrash.

The Plunging Penguin.

The Silent Parrot.

The Crying Carwash.

The Emerald Coffin.

The Credit O'Crunch.

A little help, here? I'm trying to steal a march on McWilliams.


Niamh B said...

How about

"Indecisive Ocelot"

Red Leeroy said...

oh god I don't know, disasterous deuterostomes.

Susan said...

I love your Emerald Coffin image, but for the life of me can't think of anything to match what we're facing. I'm afraid we're more like all those bloated corpses of badgers that line our roadsides: the ones who didn't see it coming, and who were probably hit by a builder's van as he drove to the bank. Oh don't start me.

Radge said...

Niamh - You and your ocelots.

Red - You and your deuterostomes.

Can both of you be thesaures for me here?

Susan - I think I already did start you, and that seems a very appropriate analogy.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

The Traumatised Turnip?

Cos that's all we can afford now...turnips. Turnip fricasee, here we come.

Red Leeroy said...

Deuterostomia; from the Greek: "second mouth".

Hmm, like Pat Dolan, I believe he has grown a second mouth just under his anus for ease of burger king intake in the jacks.

Also a financial disaster.

Radge said...

Sarah - It's been an age since I enjoyed a good fricasee.

Red - Nicely explained. Not only that, but it trips off the tongue, much like a Hunky Dory in the mouth of our favourite pundit.

Terence McDanger said...

The Wet Dream we woke up from, with no clean jocks.

Not exactly catchy but...

Anonymous said...

Gick on a stick.

Conan Drumm said...

Celtic Canker

Andrew said...

The Banjaxed Bantam?

I think I like Conan's best so far, with a very honourable mention to your own Lepered Leopard.

Radge said...

Andrew - I'm with you on Conan's. Lepered Leopard was just a happy accident.

Gypseysdog said...

When you put an official name on a problem it never seems as bad as it was. That's why you can deal with having scabies but not with having wierd red pustules on your barse.

Radge said...

5X - Were you able to find that creme in the end?

Gypseysdog said...

While I'm at it, don't you remember me talking a long time ago about the Lucky Leopard?


Radge said...

5X - After your earlier comment, I figured I'd got away with it.


You're a formidable adversary.