Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Never call a doctor by her first name.

Pain. Discomfort. Grumble. Ear infection. To close my mouth fully involves darts of displeasure to my skull. To open my mouth does this unpleasantness unto others.

The swelling's getting worse, glands throbbing under the suit of a camouflaging beard grown over the course of the week. It grew as did the heavy, hot, deafening ache on the right side of my face.

I met a new doctor today and immediately presumed to call her by her first name. She didn't seem to mind before she asked me to repeat my aaaaahhhhhs 17 times. "Just open up one more time," she for fuck's saked.

Sadism has a new visage, which is exactly what I need.


Susan said...

Did she prescribe Calpol and lots of cuddles?

Our family doctor always makes that joke to my husband when he has an ear infection---which happens often because he's always sticking rusty nails and pen caps and other bits into his ears. WHY? even he doesn't know.

I hope you feel better soon.

Red Leeroy said...

I don't think I have ever called my doctor anything. Hi don't hurt me usually suffices.

get well Radge.

Radge said...

I would have taken a cuddle, Susan.

I'm grand really, think I've caught it before things turned ugly. Off tomorrow too, which is nice.

Meadow said...

Awww... perhaps you just have a particularly interesting uvula.

Get well soon.

Anonymous said...

Never call a Doctor Mister, never call a Professor Doctor because somehow, he's a Mister again.

hope said...

Man, I hate when that happens! The ear thing I mean.

Did anyone ever tell you that dipping a cotton swab [the English call them buds, have no idea what the Irish call them] into a bottle of hydrogen peroxide...just enough to dampen the thing, not make it soaking wet. Gently swab the inside of the offending ear. Granted the "popping" sound of the little bubbles is annoying for a minute but it opens the ear canal and takes some pressure off!

After years of sinus/allergy related ear infections, I almost hugged the Doc who told me this. But he was young and I didn't want to scare him with my gratitude. :)

Feel better fast! [Moo Dog, kindly contain yourself and don't jump all over that phrase. It's not fair when the man isn't feeling well to begin verbal sparring. Then again, don't you have a wedding to plan?].

Radge said...

Meadow - That's the third time this week someone has complimented my uvula.

Holemaster - Where were you when I needed you?

Hope - Cotton buds hear too. I once tried to procure some hydrogen peroxide for said purpose, but yer one in the chemist's looked at me all funny like. And Terence's pedantry will never be curbed, dashing bride or no dashing bride.

Kath Lockett said...

You poor bugger. I've only ever had it once, but that was enough. If it's any consolation, I just had a migraine and food poisoning simultaneously, thus reducing me to a particularly squelchy and violent human vending machine.

Conan Drumm said...

Bear up, and get well soon.

As to the lady doctor... well?

Radge said...

Kath - Sounds like your ailment is far worse than mine. My sympathies.

Conan - I was wondering when someone would get to that. She looked a bit like Chloe Sevigny in 'Broken Flowers,' and I still can't decide if that's a good thing.

Conan Drumm said...

That's a good thing, but not if you've got your Bill Murray face on.

Terence McDanger said...

Feel Betty quickly you say, hope? Was her name Betty? I'm all confused.

**mutters incoherently, stumbles and falls over**

Anonymous said...

A little bit of hot olive oil around the eardrum and a hot whiskey = Radge being right as rain.

Get weel soon Sir.