Friday, February 06, 2009

I'm off.

Thank fuck for the internet. Thank fuck for it. The bus from Dingle dropped me in Tralee with an hour and a half's wait until the connection to Limerick.

I sat for ten minutes at the station but got royally fucked off when the hippy beside took out some hair jelly and an apple. Each individual munch saw the angry grow in me, every bite rising my bile, every beastly examination of his pomade pack eliciting groans and sighs from me, not even silent.

49 minutes to departure.

I'm a man of many pet peeves, one of them revolves around the humble úl. I like them a lot, don't get me wrong, but I find it hard to be around the eating of one by another.

I've been known to text the Mallow one.

"There's someone eating an apple in my vicinity."

"Run. Go home. Nobody to annoy you there."

Or words to that effect.

Anyway, I took my bag and baggage and hunted down this Internet Café. It puzzles me how coffee is rarely to be found in these places, just an empty Coke fridge, a seasick blue on the walls painted and Prince playing overhead.

43 minutes to departure.

So it's to a couple of days in Limerick, it'll be either 'Benjamin Button' or 'Revolutionary Road'. I've seen most else.

Then back to Dublin, to Charleville Road, where I'll try to make some sense of the Dingle scribblings. The whole page of them. I got distracted by the nothingness, what can I say? My stated aim went to the winds, replaced by the walking and the stew and Guinness. Together and separate.

I'll go back to Dublin and people will ask me if I went to see Funghi. I'll go back to Dublin and people who don't know me will ask me if I went to see Funghi.

38 minutes to departure.

'Woman' by John Lennon on the wireless now. I'm off.


RedLeeroy said...

I saw Funghi once, in an internet cafe in Phibsboro, asked for an autograph, bastard told me to fuck off.

adogwoof said...

If you happen to see Willie O'Dea in Limerick, tell him he's a plonker.

Fancy a date in Europe?

Conan Drumm said...

Do you avoid trains because you might be stuck beside an apple eater from Rathmore? Or is it a Limerick thing? As in via Limerick.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Good post Radge.

nice style, sir.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

I hate listening to my family eat. They sound like horses.

But then, by default, so do I.

Terence McDanger said...

I hate eating apples in anyone's company.

The whole cherrrrrromp sound as you get stuck in, well I can only imagine it's not nice to listen to.

Anyway Radge, he could have farted instead, so count your blessings.

Holemaster said...

Noisy eaters are a major peeve of mine. Also, eating while talking on the phone, very rude... *Shlopp* yeah so, *chew, shlop, igump* anyway yeah so....

Radge said...

Red - You should never annoy him when he's waiting for his meatball sub.

AG - That's the first time I've been asked out in forever.

Conan - A little from column A, but more to do with the price. Iarnród Eireann are thieving bastards.

Sarah - Thanks.

Sarah - Nonsense. You are grace itself.

Terence - You really are an apple-half-full type, aren't you?

Radge said...

Holemaster - Infuriating.

swiss said...

buy the book of revolutionary road. the film looks like cock.

apples!? next you'll be writing to the papers!

Gypseysdog said...

Buy it? What happened to going to a library to borrow the book?
Or does that even happen anymore?
I used to use the library right up to a week before my exodus. Returned my last book back in April 2006, Murphy, by Sam Beckett.

So I suppose what I mean to say here, is that, yes, I'm better than all of you.

Radge said...

Thought so.

Anonymous said...

Internet café's are full of fail. I should know, I had to work in one for two years...

Radge said...

ChrisD - 'Full of fail'. I like.