While my almost-empty bottle of Eternity remains intact, the ceramic rim of my toilet took an awful shattering on Friday afternoon. I dropped the former on the latter, you see, and was surprised to see the damage inflicted.
Fucking massive chunks of former toilet on the floor.
Then I flushed it to see what would happen. Deluge.
Then I mopped it up with a towel that stinks like fuck now. It's in the utility room going rank as I type.
Then I took the only respectable course of action left to me. I went into town and got drunk.
Then I came home, pissed in the garden under cover of darkness, and sent a text message.
Then I uncorked a bottle of Faustino V.