So where did the name Radge come from, anyway? I've had to explain it in person many times over, but it never occurred to me to blog it until I replied to a comment from Holemaster earlier, asking him about his own moniker.
I went to Geneva eight years ago with Johnny, over to visit a friend from the 32A days. She had gone to Switzerland to build a career and plot a well-funded insurrection from the cowardly centre of chocolate.
Michelle put us up on her couch, the sharing of which wakes me to this moment screaming, sobbing, gasping for my anal virginity*.
It was a great week. We settled ourselves into our hostess' carefully stocked cabinet while she'd go to work during the day. We'd sit around her magnificently appointed one-bedroom domicile and take our drinks from bottled beer, starting at 10am or earlier if necessary.
Between sups Johnny was reading Irvine Welsh's 'Glue,' written entirely in the man's Scottish vernacular. 'Radge' was used primarily in an adjectival sense, meaning crude or awful or shitty...
'Nae radge cunt is gunnae tek that'...
We'd get drunker and drunker, at one point combining vodka, wine, beer and orange juice, mixing in some Aftershock, in a punchbowl or vase or glorified petri-dish. Straws mandatory for added zip.
The looser tongued we got, the freer Titface would get with the insults towards poor, innocent, inebriated me, affixing 'radge' to his glorious repertoire of vituperative slammings.
It stuck, it came home with us, going on to outlast stories of how Johnny had been raped by Slash from Guns 'N' Roses during our stay. But that's another story.
Eventually it morphed into a noun, and soon the noun became me. It spread to work when Terence came over to 32A one evening and became a 'Radge' convert. Now I respond to it as quickly as I do when I hear my real name, which isn't Vern.
Curiously, very few ladyfriends use it. Emma Nar, for certain, and Elmo from time to time, but generally it's proven one for the lads.
It also explains why I have so many hits from Scotland.
*Disclaimer: Johnny's nae a friggin' radge buffty.