Sunday, January 18, 2009

Origin of 'Radge'

So where did the name Radge come from, anyway? I've had to explain it in person many times over, but it never occurred to me to blog it until I replied to a comment from Holemaster earlier, asking him about his own moniker.

I went to Geneva eight years ago with Johnny, over to visit a friend from the 32A days. She had gone to Switzerland to build a career and plot a well-funded insurrection from the cowardly centre of chocolate.

Michelle put us up on her couch, the sharing of which wakes me to this moment screaming, sobbing, gasping for my anal virginity*.

It was a great week. We settled ourselves into our hostess' carefully stocked cabinet while she'd go to work during the day. We'd sit around her magnificently appointed one-bedroom domicile and take our drinks from bottled beer, starting at 10am or earlier if necessary.

Between sups Johnny was reading Irvine Welsh's 'Glue,' written entirely in the man's Scottish vernacular. 'Radge' was used primarily in an adjectival sense, meaning crude or awful or shitty...

'Nae radge cunt is gunnae tek that'...

We'd get drunker and drunker, at one point combining vodka, wine, beer and orange juice, mixing in some Aftershock, in a punchbowl or vase or glorified petri-dish. Straws mandatory for added zip.

The looser tongued we got, the freer Titface would get with the insults towards poor, innocent, inebriated me, affixing 'radge' to his glorious repertoire of vituperative slammings.

It stuck, it came home with us, going on to outlast stories of how Johnny had been raped by Slash from Guns 'N' Roses during our stay. But that's another story.

Eventually it morphed into a noun, and soon the noun became me. It spread to work when Terence came over to 32A one evening and became a 'Radge' convert. Now I respond to it as quickly as I do when I hear my real name, which isn't Vern.

Curiously, very few ladyfriends use it. Emma Nar, for certain, and Elmo from time to time, but generally it's proven one for the lads.

It also explains why I have so many hits from Scotland.

*Disclaimer: Johnny's nae a friggin' radge buffty.

27 comments:

narocroc said...

Up the Swiss eh?!?

Susan said...

Oo, a new word, shall have to use it. Great story!

I used to live in the cowardly centre of chocolate, across the lake from Geneva. Now I suppose I live there only figuratively, which explains why all my size 8 dresses are in the back of the closet, perhaps never to re-emerge.

Ok. Now tell about Slash?

ovak30 said...

"cowardly centre of chocolate" superb stuff Radge.
A mate of mine arrived into school one day aged about ten after a couple of days off sick with a note from his mum which contained the line "please excuse A@#&$*w from school for the last two days, as A@#&$*w was feeling Queezey" anyway, sure as shit his mates got their hands on the note before the teacher and 25 years later he is still known to one and all(including his mum) as Queeze.

Darragh said...

Okay, I think I got that. Reading it though my mind wandered on to how you'd get to know someone from the Malahide to town bus route...

Loving 'vituperative' :)

--V-- said...

None of the names that have surfaced from my drunken encounters are suitable for everyday use...consider yourself lucky. i mean, this blog could be called "Titfacery". um...or something.

Red Leeroy said...

you could have easily enough been called ken, yeh ken ?

Dot-Com said...

Doubt you'll ever hear me actually say "Radge". It contains one of the few sounds I just can't seem to get right, so while you have to put up with my name, I'll still opt to just call you Mary. Or was it something else...

Terence McDanger said...

Sigh, the memories.

Inside the front door of 32A, stuck on the hallstand mirror, there was a picture of himself on a white A4 page, with a blank but slightly quizzical expression.

Emblazoned across the top in bold type was "There's Radgery afoot...

It was a sort of warning to all entering the house.

Radge said...

Narocroc you dirty devil.

Susan - The Slash story will require clearance from a now married man.

Ovak - Ha. I likes.

Darragh - My former abode, and most recently a poorly received Aidan Quinn fillum.

-v- - If Johnny ever starts a blog, that'll be his. He should. He's (whisper it) far more entertaining a person than me.

Red - I ken.

Dot - Thanks for the comment Brenda.

Terence - Sigh. Beautifully recalled. I'd forgotten about that.

Elmo said...

I should get around to writing one on the origins of Elmo.... its not very interesting though, nothing to do with a fluffy puppet, but started when a drunken friend tried to say my name but it came out in a drunken slur as 'Elllmo!'.

Actually I won't blog about it - that's pretty much it.

Radge said...

I didn't know that story.

Elmo said...

Hee Hee - this just came on the radio - 'Do you like Phil Collins?' Bateman, P.


Easy lover
She'll get a hold on you believe it
Like no other
Before you know it you'll be on your knees
She's an easy lover
She'll take your heart but you won't feel it
She's like no other
And I'm just trying to make you see

She's the kind of girl you dream of
Dream of keeping hold of
You'd better forget it
You'll never get it
She will play around and leave you
Leave you and deceive you
Better forget it
Oh you'll regret it

No you'll never change her, so leave it, leave it
Get out quick cos seeing is believing
It's the only way
You'll ever know

Easy lover
She'll get a hold on you believe it
Like no other
Before you know it you'll be on your knees
She's an easy lover
She'll take your heart but you won't feel it
She's like no other
And I'm just trying to make you see

You're the one that wants to hold her
Hold her and control her
You'd better forget it
You'll never get it
For she'll say there's no other
Till she finds another
Better forget it
Oh you'll regret it

And don't try to change her, just leave it, leave it
You're not the only one, ooh seeing is believing
It's the only way
You'll ever know, oh

No don't try to change her, just leave it, leave it
You're not the only one, ooh seeing is believing
It's the only way
You'll ever know, oh

She's an easy lover (she's an easy lover)
She'll get a hold on you believe it (get a hold on you)
(She's) like no other
Before you know it you'll be on your knees (you'll be down on your knees)
She's an easy lover
She'll take your heart but you won't feel it (you won't feel it)
She's like no other
And I'm just trying to make you see (trying to make you see)

Holemaster said...

Did you go for a dip in Lac Léman? Staying in drinking was the best thing to do. Geneva is about as exciting as a toaster.

Radge said...

Elmo - Hey Paul! Aaaagggghhhh!!!

Holemaster - I dunno, there are some pretty sexy toasters out there.

adogwoof said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah Gostrangely said...

Radge, eh?

I always thought it was some kind of play on words for Rodge, as in Rodger That, or Rodger in a boys school way.

Though the Scots way is much better. Nasty.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Radge, eh?

I always thought it was some kind of play on words for Rodge, as in Rodger That, or Rodger in a boys school way.

Though the Scots way is much better. Nasty.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Clearly I'm pissed again and can't stop hitting keys.

Apologies for double response.

Radge said...

I'm just glad one of us is drinking, Sarah. I'm not counting the orange juice I just drained.

Gypseysdog said...

There's also a condition called Rode Radge.

It's not very common though.




Titter!!

swiss said...

up the swiss!?

in amongst all this slash rapery, rugbyishness and public schoolery i'm unsure how to interpret that..

however i would point out that radge as a term can't really be said to be scottish as such as it's mainly confined to the east coast and the weegies couldn't and wouldn't use it any more than they'd sauce up their chips. some east coast people might say it's because they lack the vocabulary. i'm just saying...

and being as both are from the central belt they have little or no knowledge of those territories north or south of them. ah yes, such is our country....

as for all the hits from this fair land i put it down to the colourful language which is to us like the very oxygen of being. truly it fuckin is

The Sexy Pedestrian said...

No, I can't say that, 'Radge'. It doesn't sound right when I say it. It'll have to be something else.

Radge said...

With a name like 'Sexy Pedestrian,' call me whatever you want.

5X - Nicely donesir! I'm too tickled to be offended.

Swiss - Actually, I think you're the only one, and I'll brush up before I make anymore Scottish generalisations.

B said...

I just shut my eyes and banged a key on the keyboard

Darren said...

Radge - added to the list of cool words I will use in 2009.

hope said...

Curiosity satisfied. Well, for now. :)

swiss said...

generalisation? nah!