Tuesday, January 20, 2009

One small step.

'Can someone interview Kevin Moran about Darren O'Dea? His number's here.'

I was on the football today and knew this one was heading my way, hard as I tried to scurry under my desk and hide out beside the phone lines and bins beneath.

Pathetic as it sounds, I haven't interviewed anyone in... well... a long fucking time.

Starting off at this journalism lark I was adept at it. If not quite Jeremy Paxman, I could hold my own against the Eircom League managers and Premiership plodders. An exclusive with the Blackburn club secretary was a high point.

Then we lost contracts and the work became more banal, before I spent three years on the 'entertainment' package which was handy for the film screenings and free gigs.

Following that was a spell in purgatory, writing up TV schedules, until I inched up the ladder to an editorial position that was really just mutton dressed as a copy, paste and edit job.

Treading water.

Knowing that there's only so much bluffing a man can do before his mind gets lost, I recently started a work blog. Football, of course, as it's well within the comfort zone. The boss doesn't mind my words and feedback has been encouraging, so with this in mind I picked up the phone.

No answer. Sweet.

An hour later. No answer. Sweet.

After lunch, one more try and I'm out. He answers. Fuck.


'Yeah ok but can you make it quick?'

I muddled my way through three and a half minutes of easy interrogation on the subject of the Celtic defender, and then the Stephen Ireland controversy of which the entire isle is surely bored to fuck.

It didn't go terribly and I got two news stories out of it, having to listen back to my own idiot voice*, but fuck if I didn't get off that phone a redder and sweatier yet slightly proud radge bastard.

*Am I really a little bit of a posh cunt?


Susan said...

Congratulations; on the phone is better than under the desk surely! And oh I sympathise with hating to hear your own voice; mine makes me cringe.

Good luck with the work blog too.

adogwoof said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dot-Com said...

HWhere is the picture of you hiding under the desk?!

Gypseysdog said...

I'd call you washed-up, only you haven't even left the port yet.

Radge said...

5X - Cutting. To the core.

Dot - It was figurative.

Anonymous said...

Ah sure fuck him. Football agents make enough money and they're only too happy to use journos when contracts need renewing.

Holemaster said...

In 1997, I arrived in the Irish Echo in Balmain, Sydney to do page layouts and ended up sub editing loads of copy so I could then design the pages. I got to write my own headlines.... "Irish Car Sales in Record Growth", ahh the good old days. They used fucking Pagemaker!

Radge said...

Pagemaker, Holemaster? I'm one of those newfangled interweb hacks, apparently. Never been near a printing press.

Annie said...

Never listen to your own voice played back, that is the golden rule. My voice is much more gravelly and sexy in my own head. I was quite surprised to hear that, on tape, I sound squeaky and English.

Radge said...

Nonsense, Annie. I'm going with melodic and demonic. Not a bit English.

hope said...

I think you've just talked me out of submitting a resume to the local newspaper. Yikes! I'd forgotten that those holding up the totem pole get the crap work.

I owe you donuts or chocolate ...which is it? :)

swiss said...

wow, i'm astonished at how little i know of what you're talking about here but in answer to your question

Am I really a little bit of a posh cunt?

i looked up your alma mater (see what i did there?) and in between thinking lucky bastard, the answer i'm afraid must be yes, you are

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Everyone sounds like a wankbucket on tape.

There must be some mistake there though, cos I sound RIDICULOUS on tape, like a hockeystick-wielding helium addict. And I'm not.

So no, Radge, you're probably not a posh cunt. I don't know you though, so we'll never know...

Red Leeroy said...

nice one radge, before you know it you will be onto Pele having a chit chat about erectile dysfunction. If you want to practice you can give me a shout. I know a lot of useless facts about football and am an impatient bollix.

Conan Drumm said...

Well you might be half-way there, if you sound like one.

What gadget did you use to record your chat with Kev?

Radge said...

Hope - Neither, actually. Damn cholesterol.

Swiss - I admire your research skills.

Sarah - Wankbucket! Gold. I'm having that. And what you read is what you get.

Red - It won't be to Pele I'll turn on such matters. Pop question: There's only one team in England and Scotland with a j in their name. Name that team WITHOUT using the internet.

Conan - I asked around. I don't. Apparently it's BBC English I have, so now! I put a microphone in the ear I held the phone to and connected it to a digital dictaphone.

Red Leeroy said...

hmm, I will have to think about that, Tottenham the Jews ?? no, that's not it. Will get back to you.

in the meantime - There are 5 teams in the entire football league have an X in there name - who are they?

(including conference etc)

Red Leeroy said...

radge, when you said England and Scotland did you mean - one team only or one in both england and scotland?

Radge said...

Oxford United, Exeter City, Wrexham, Vauxhall Motors and...

OK can't get the last one.

One team only.

Red Leeroy said...

St Johnstone

Halifax and Crewe Alexandra.
(vauxhall was new on me)

Radge said...

Bollix. Crewe was especially easy. And yep. You got it.

Red Leeroy said...

woo hoo - You should do a quiz everyday and give out prizes. Ok, bad idea this is Radgery not A Question of Sport.

The Sexy Pedestrian said...


"No answer. Sweet.

An hour later. No answer. Sweet."

That's my day in a nutshell.

Elmo said...

Yes, you are a posh cunt and I'm a little knacker according to you!

Radge said...

Sexy - Work is the curse of the lazy classes.

Elmo - Scumbag.