Why doesn't Barack Obama just get it over with, find the nearest phone box and emerge in Ann Summers' finest with a great big dirty 'S' tattooed on his chest?
Well, that's about as topical as it gets here on Radgery. I wouldn't know the zeitgeist if it sauntered up and asked me where it could buy a brand new, flame grilled recession burger.
No no, I'm on to talk about the windy walk, that time when our souls met kindred for the first time, that first kiss, the first taster of love so visceral...
Wait. Stop. No that's not going to work either. I'm simply jittery with hormonic yearnings. No need to broadcast it to the world. And there was no seminal walk down Howth pier. Stop making shit up, Radge.
Film reviews - Well, I did happen upon 'Definitely Maybe' on Sky Movies earlier, starring Shannon from Home And Away and some lad who looks and sounds just like Jason Lee, but isn't Jason Lee. Ryan Reynolds, that's it.
Oh and the kid from 'Little Miss Sunshine'. Wasn't 'Little Miss Sunshine' a load of tosswank? Anyway, 'Definitely Maybe'. Yeah, I watched 18 minutes of it and I'm never getting it back.
Expressions and bile - Do you know what I fucking hate? 'It does what it says on the tin'. It was fine as an ad, but the amount of dickheads using it out of context, well, it's wearing.
'Yeah, Denilson's a good player. He does exactly what it says on the tin...'
What fucking tin? Where? Show it to me. You can't? No. No you can't.
So, yeah, Obama...