Sunday, January 25, 2009

Letter to M.

I was always known to say that there was a touch of the Samba about you, as though you were Carlow by accident. Your first touch on the ball, your way with the ladies, THAT jacket. Pure Brazilian magic.

Little old me? Little old me you ask? Well I'm just dandy. Went out for Dave's birthday last night to O'Neills on Pearse Street. An old haunt. It was very bloody merry, with pint after pint of brownest ale sunk in the man's honour.

A strange thing happened. I had just left Ollie to go and search for food, he in a taxi, me wandering drunkenly towards McDonalds when I was stopped by a young lady.

'Radge?' she asked.

I looked around to see the most pulchritudinous lass of my 30 years.

'Oh yes,' I replied. 'And who might you be?'

'I'm J, Lynn's friend. We met briefly before on Dame Street.'

'Ah. J. Yes. How are you doing?'

My better self would have taken this chance of a lifetime and romantically dazzled her, but my real self intervened, awkward and garbling with liquor. She disappeared to the night all too quickly and I went and had a quarter pounder with cheese, lamenting my shitness with very beautiful women.

Damn.

13 comments:

swiss said...

i suppose there's a certain vicarious humour to be derived from this constant crashing and burning but ffs - again!!!!

Radge said...

Oh Swiss you old charmer. You really make a man feel...

Oh for fuck's sake. Again.

the broken down barman said...

dont think u should worry big man.
when mrs right comes along she'll understand your severe lack of casanova skills and see the real you.
or is that the problem?!?!?!

Radge said...

Alas yes, Barman. That old chestnut.

swiss said...

i want to be able to share in some triumph!

Sarah Gostrangely said...

What's the big word mean? I'm taking it's a shagalicious thing...

Not all women (or men, it seems) go for the silver tongue. Could you pass yourself off for a Heathcliffe and keep quiet from now on, happy in the knowledge that your lack of communication is moody and sexy?

Radge said...

Sarah - means very beautiful indeed. I think you're right, shutting the fuck up is the best way to go.

Holemaster said...

Be Don Draper

Kath Lockett said...

Oh FFS indeed, Radge. We need a SUCCESS STORY from you now, son.

Go out (stay sober) and git one!

....please?

narocroc said...

Did you invite her to share in the sloppy drunken enjoyment of your quarter pounder?!?

Radge said...

Holemaster - As long as I'm not Pete Sullivan, the slimey little shitbag.

Kath - I can't promise to try, but I can promise to try to try.

Narocroc - Gloriously euphemistic. And no. But I shudda.

Red Leeroy said...

christ, and she was pulchritudinous too. Perhaps sparkling water for you from now on Radge? Crazy talk maybe, but think of the glorious blog victories, and other perks.

Radge said...

Red - I'm thinking you're right, though my sober success rate is also sadly lacking lately.