Wednesday, December 17, 2008

50 bad things.

Can't summon the words for a proper blog, so here are 50 bad things...

1) Lee Evans.

2) Bullying with no response.

3) Farting at mass.

4) A mobile phone that never rings.

5) A mobile phone that rings too much.

6) Ringtone ads.

7) Davina McCall.

8) Busy cunt suits.

9) Cucumber.

10) Rio Ferdinand, innit.

11) 'Half empty' sorts.

12) WKD.

13) Ads for WKD aimed at men. AT MEN!!

14) English stiff upper lips.

15) Obese people eating chips alone.

16) McDonalds.

17) White shite - films with a white-background poster.

18) Leinster supporters.

19) Munster supporters.

20) Rugby supporters.

21) Rum and diet coke.

22) Text language.

23) Bad spelling.

24) Diarrhoea.

25) Old women counting change.

26) People who call me 'man'. "Alright, man." "Fuck off. Learn my name."

27) Garmin.

28) Trying to come up with something other than 'sorry for your troubles' at a funeral.

29) When she looks the other way.

30) Chuggers.

31) Now magazine.

32) Achy morning bones. Not boners.

33) People who can't take a hint.

34) Limerick solicitors.

35) Unfulfilled sexual frisson.

36) Talking and talking and nothing to say.

37) David McWilliams.

38) Leaking roof.

39) Tabloid news headlines.

40) Eating loudly.

41) Constant sneezing without nose-covering.

42) Bragging and then feeling like a cunt.

43) Wearing sunglasses indoors.

44) Hocking snot on the bus.

45) Battery running out on the Creative.

46) Sex And The City. The Movie.

47) TV3.

48) The global eco.... oh kill me.

49) Eggs.

50) I love everything else.

25 comments:

Holemaster said...

I have one for you. Reading your blog and the black acting as a mirror so I have to see myself in my slick smooth full size iMac screen

Radge said...

Gives you a chance to check your hair, at least.

hope said...

#22...yes, thank you! Does that include Facebook?

#29...made me sad.

#46...YES! What a waste of film...and money. Bet we could solve the economy of many countries if shite like that wasn't produced.

#50...even your readers? :)

Radge said...

Only when they're nice to me, Hope!

Susan said...

Good heavens, did number 3 need to be qualified as to location?

If I'm not old enough to count as a number-25 and I hope I'm not, I'm glad to be counted as a number-50. (My Dad would have liked that!)

Radge said...

It did, Susan. I won't go into more detail.

And that won't count as you until 2047 at the earliest. Or me.

English Mum said...

I agree with everything.

Except 49 which should be 'fried eggs'.

Great post.

narocroc said...

Yep, not much I can argue with you on there Radge. Not even the farting at mass one.

And yes cucumber is evil, pure unadulterated evil.

Good work.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Obese people eating chips alone.

That made me really sad.

Don't know why.

Anonymous said...

You are a miserable cunt.

Radge said...

Thanks folks. And do one Anonymous. I know where you live.

Red Leeroy said...

radge, you have outdone yourself here. And to think, this in your eyes isn't even a proper blog. 18,19,20 amused me no end.

swiss said...

garmin?

i found some dead david mcwilliams and some other bloke on your telly. which is it? or both?

sex and the city? why restrict yourself to just the film? i hope to god a radge night in doesn't include a sex and the city box set, some ice cream and ample tissues. and that sarah jessica parker and that spray on shite she's advertising currently. dear jesus....

i can't agree however on unfulfilled sexual frisson. it'd be a dull old life without that and we'd be the worse for it.

Radge said...

Swiss, no comment on a Radge night in.

There's nothing deviant or remotely female, but the excruciating mediocrity would turn you off Radgery for life.

I've said too much.

Radge said...

And Red - fucking 'handball'.

gimme a minute said...

I find it pretty unseasonal of you to leave out Christmas.

Radge said...

Gimme - it was that or Davina McCall. The Nutrisse ads proved decisive.

the dublinista said...

The fat people eating chips struck a chord...

Holemaster said...

Mobile phone one that always gets me....

"Have to go, cops up ahead"
"Oh right, just quickly before you....

Radge said...

Dublinista - Kills me.

Holemaster - Eh?

Holemaster said...

You're driving and on the phone, you see cops, you need to get off the phone, you know .... and ...... your friend keeps talking..... em never mind.

Radge said...

Holemaster - The dawn of realisation. Makes perfect sense to me now, I know the types. Was drunk when I initially read it.

Andrew said...

2,7,10,13,22,23,30,32,39,46,47,
FUCK YEAH!

Radge said...

Especially Davina McCall, Andrew.

--V-- said...

I hate being called "girl" or "mam"
I'm too old for the first and too young for the second...