Thursday, November 20, 2008

Neat freak.

The flat is in a heap. In a messy state of nonsense. My mind has been more organised lately, feeling better in a general sense, but conversely my place of residence is not at its most charmismatic.

I've left the washing up for a couple of days, the aftershave and toothpaste are on the sitting room floor, I'm surrounded by notes from my class, and the smell has returned. Something is decaying, I think it's the spuds I threw in the bin yesterday.

Old clothes thrown on the chair, DVD cases containing CDs, CD cases containing nothing at all. This isn't like me. Johnny didn't train me to be unkempt in the home.

I normally look after the place, keep the sheets clean for the lady caller that never shows up, as if from nowhere. Wash the dishes as I use them. Spray Febreze about the place. I'm tidy as a rule.

Now, however, I'm wondering how the fuck that stain got there, and no, it's not THAT.

On closer inspection, it's not a bottle of aftershave on the floor. It's water. And the toothpaste is nothing more sinister than a tube of KY Jelly...

12 comments:

Susan said...

I was going to ask how the toothpaste got on your sitting room floor.

NEVER MIND.

Love that label, however.

Radge said...

I managed the dishes, post-post.

narocroc said...

It's like the opening scene of Apocalypse Now. Kind of. Not really.

Radge said...

I love the smell of mouldy coffee in the morning. Smells like.... neglect.

red leeroy said...

the horror......the horror

the broken down barman said...

was thinkin that it didnt sound too bad. you should see my little hovel. the poster in my kitchen has a picture of the smelly guy from peanuts with the motto:
cleanliness is next to impossible

Radge said...

Just put that one to the office. They applauded, so thank you.

the broken down barman said...

my pleasure

hope said...

I will repeat what I told Susan in my last post: cleaning house is highly overrated. :) Although I was a little concerned about your toothpaste placement. But guys do stuff like that.

You could eat off the floors in my mom-in-law's house...that's not me. I'm not worried the Health Dept. will come close me down. It's not that bad. Our house looks lived in. By a hubby who leaves clothes hanging on chairs in the dining room and newspapers on the bathroom floor or dogs who leave a trail of toys in their wake as they wander about looking for the humans. Oh, I clean up, but it all gravitates back. Some days I surrender.

It's my grandmother's fault really. With no disrespect meant, she referred to cobwebs as "Irish lace". :) She was my favorite.

@ the barman: that Peanuts character is named "Pigpen". Suits him, huh?

the broken down barman said...

never mind eatin off the floor, am scared to eat off the plates in my hovel.
pigpen thats the one. think he looks a bit like me actually, though ive got more flys buzzin round me heid!!!!

Niamh B said...

I find eventually the place starts cleaning itself, with alot of determination and endurance, just keep leaving it and life will keep getting better and better!*




(*Disclaimer: Life may not actually keep getting better and better, terms and conditions apply)

Radge said...

Fuck it. Just for once I'd like the terms and conditions not to apply.