Saturday, July 21, 2007

Basetouchers rant 45

OK, I return. It's Saturday, the weather's shit, sitting in Limerick, nothing to do but blog. The details of my life at the moment would bring shame to me, to this blog, to everything, so not getting into it.

Instead I'm going to write about the 'busies'.

I've been observing these lads and ladies with more and more interest in the office. Fascinating. They're the bottom feeders who enjoy the nausea of the corporate ladder.

1) They must talk on the phone very loudly. One little hellion in Setanta Central, let's call her Sweetie Darling, is known for her less than subtle phone manner. Especially when talking to slightly important football pundits.

2) They touch base. Makes sense really, given the path they've chosen.

3) They don't walk, they stride, and they have to be on a mobile phone touching base with someone while they do it.

4) They talk about going forward, without moving an inch.

5) They ask if anyone fancies a few bevvies after work on Friday. Tuesday afternoon drinking is complete anathema.

6) They like horse racing, but ONLY during Cheltenham. Or the Grand National for a flutter. Ask them who won the 3.20 at Market Rasen and they'd most likely froth at the mouth and wreck their tie.

7) They air kiss.

8) They go to Howl At The Moon.

9) And read Ross O'Carroll Kelly.

10) And drink Budweiser.

Fuckin' basetouchers, man.

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