I'm stuck somewhere between my morning bowl of Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes and my afternoon cup of tea accompanied by chocolate Polo biscuit. Coconutty. Just thought I'd bring to the fore events from my life of this last week.
The weekend was raucous, yet again. In fact it was raucouser than most. I'm turning distinctly 5X, in that I tend to only go out when I have work the next day. It's a lethal idea. We were in the Long Stone, or 'at home' as it's becoming known to me, on Friday night for Emma Quinn's birthday.
She's a popular lass, and we drunk deep into our pockets and said things we probably shouldn't have long into the night. Got to meet the rest of the Quinn clan too, down for the occasion from above in Belfast. Apologies must go most formally to Emma's sister Cara, for Dropsy McSpillpint was out in force again. I'm one clumsy oaf.
Johnny came in to spread some love and show Dave his plums, before spiriting me back to County Lucan on the Nitelink for toasted cheese and jalapeno sandwiches.
Saturday was messy. Met Davros in Mulligans and then on to Thomas Reads for one or two with my sister Anne and Martina. The plan was for the Hairy Lemon. Dave played wingman to me as I chatted up two 24-year-old teenagers before I saw the error of my ways and went back to those I knew best. Gill's birthday, you see, so there was plenty of value away from the stress and tribulations of seduction. As I got steadily drunker I became more and more disinclined towards 'doing the dance'.
Sunday was a low key affair, just a couple of pints and a pizza with Ollie and Melissa, most enjoyable. The Long Hall has much going for it, though on the night in question the place was moribund. Just four or five old splutterers counting their winnings from the nags. And us.
This week has been all about the World Cup. I'm all over it as Julianne might, and indeed does, say. Good hustle.
What else? I've discovered the...
Cheese of the century: Milleens. Holy Jaysus. I can't even get into the sheer majesty of it.
Things I don't give a shit about this week:
1) Cloaks and daggers.
3) People who use text language. Just. Fucking. Stop it.
4) Ronaldo's weight. Leave the chap alone. He's scored more goals than you.
5) Ronan Collins.
6) Noisy ice-cream vans.
Plan is to take it handy this weekend, so let's get destroyed.
I'm signing off for once,