Saturday, December 31, 2005

Me Vs 5X

Having informed 5X of my new obsession, he decided to take the wind out of my sails thus...

"The brutal facts are :
You possess none of these qualities that this ***** would require -
The fancy apartment.
The high performance car.
The position of power.
The high salary.
The sense of competiveness.
The kids from a previous relationship.
The life seeming to be together.
Athletic history that can be proved with trophys.
Combination skin.
I'm sorry to break it to you."

So I responded with...

"You speak the truth, but I do possess...
One tear stained pillow.
A sizeable gut.
A bleak sense of my own place in this universe, stuck somewhere between Milhouse and Paul Giamatti in his more hopeless and hapless roles.
A Creative Zen Sleek with 18 gig capacity.
Unconventional handwriting.
No ties.
No mortgage.
No babies.
A free travel card.
A notable scar on my skull.
A fine line in self deprecation.
Good teeth.
The ability to banter.
However, none of the above, I have discovered, is attractive to the opposite sex.
I'm a whizz in the pub but."

And he finished with...

"In an act of bastardry and maleness, I've decided to measure myself up against you -
You speak the truth, but I do possess...
Four deeply impacted and experienced pillows. Oh if they could talk, what tales they would tell...
A well defined and tone stomach.
Also, admittedly, a bleak sense of my own place in the universe, stuck somewhere between David Spade and Jason Shwartzman, in his only role.
A laptop filled with wonderful, zesty, original work that won't benefit from my lack of ambition and drive.
Unreadable handwriting.
No ties.
No mortgage.
No babies, I maintain.
No murderous petroleum-based transport . (End petroleum now!)
A interesting mystery scar on my leg.
A Cuddihy.
A rather nice cock, all told.
A taste for the cruder things in life.
Some of these things have helped me to get my end away.
Except for the Cuddihy."

My world, everybody...


Quinner said...

lads, this isn't the website for such personal trivia facts, you need to go on and be done with it.

professional essay writing service said...

This is a nice way to put a conversation. I’m very curious to know what your new obsession is and why 5X thinks you can’t have it.